Hippo Manchester
July 28, 2005


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Dear Pinings,

I am two months pregnant and I am 100 percent sure that terminating this is the best thing. This came at a bad time. I am 25 years old and am not financially set and definitely not emotionally ready. I love my boyfriend very much and he supports my decision to have an abortion. I asked him to accompany me when I get the procedure done. He has been hesitant when I have asked him. I do not want to be a bitch about it but he and I need to deal with the consequence of our carelessness.

What can I say to him to make him realize I need him there? Thank you, In need of some support.


Needs Support

Dear Needs,

It certainly seems like the least he could do, huh? If you donít want to be a bitch about it, then donít. Ask a close friend or two to accompany you. Tell them you need them to totally take care of you for the day, which may include picking you up, being with you during the procedure, taking you home, bringing you soup, ice cream and snacks  and renting movies for you to watch.

What you will really need on that day is people around you that you can count on to be nurturing and supportive. And Iím sorry to tell you Ö but it doesnít sound like thatís your guy. 

What you might want to think about is after this is over is this: What kind of character does your boyfriend have? He will get his girlfriend pregnant and then not go with her to terminate the pregnancy Ö? Please know that Iím not trying to make matters worse and Iím not trying to be harsh. But this should be a red flag for you. When the going gets tough Öwill he be there for you?  I donít care if heís nervous, hesitant or sick to his stomach. He should really suck it up and act like heís got a set.

Please have faith in yourself and take care.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers. Contact her via e-mail at sah103@hotmail.com