Hippo Manchester
July 21, 2005

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Might Get Married

by Sherry Hughes

Dear Sherry,

I have been battling with my mother for as long as I can remember. I love her and I know she loves me but it feels like she just doesnít want me to grow up. I have a boyfriend now and want to move in with him. She says she is disgusted with the idea and Iím ďsettling.Ē

I wish she would just let me live my life the way I want to. Iím 29 years old and have been out of the house for a long time. I love my boyfriend and weíve been together for three years. We might get married someday but that isnít on my radar right now. I just want to experience more of life before I take that step.

How do I get my mom off my back and let her know that I love her, but I need to move out of her house and live my own life?


Dear Bailey,

Iím sure you already know the old saying about buying the cow vs. getting the milk for free, so I will only mention it in passing.

 Life is all about learning independence, doing your own thing, and knowing that, no matter what happens, youíll be able to take care of yourself. Trust me, this would be an invaluable gift to give you mom, too. I think that you might get your mom more on your side once she sees that you are a grown-up and able to take care of yourself.

In other words, if you want to be treated like a grown-up, start behaving like one. Grown-ups arenít dependent on their parentsí approval.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers. Contact her via e-mail at sah103@hotmail.com.