Pinings — Advice by Sherry Hughes

My Roommate's Family

Dear Pinings,

In a few weeks, I am going to meet my roommateís family. They are coming for a weekend from out of town. I offered go visit my family while they are here, to give her some privacy. She said that wasnít necessary. But they are staying with us and we have a very small apartment. She invited her mom, dad and little brother. The parents are staying in her room and she and her brother are going to sleep in the living room. She is sleeping on the couch and he is sleeping on the floor.

It seems awfully crowded to me. I donít mind at all that she invited them, but Iíd just as soon go away and let her have the run of the place. She keeps on saying that she really wants me to meet them and that they are looking forward to meeting me Ö and Iím feeling ďguiltedĒ into staying.

Would it be rude for me to leave knowing that they really plan on meeting me?

- Frankie 

Dear Frankie,

Maybe your roommate doesnít want to be alone with her family and on some level she is hoping you will bridge that gap. Iím with you ó it sounds really crowded. Her parents might also feel as if they want to know the person their daughter is living with ó and, depending on your age,  thatís perfectly reasonable. Your roommate also might be going the extra mile to be sure that you donít feel kicked out of your own home by insisting you stay.

Is there a compromise you can make? Maybe you could stay with friends in the town you live in and meet your roommate and her family for dinner one night. Or you might plan to stay in your apartment on Friday night to meet the family and then head for another locale the next day.

Donít allow your roommate to bully you into staying if you really feel like it will be uncomfortable for you.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers. Reach her at

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