December 22, 2005
enjoy reading your column in the Hippo very much. You always tell it
like it is. I need your help with a problem that has caused some
friction in our family. Last summer my mom asked me to be her guest to a
wedding. I agreed to be her guest and drive her as she is in her 80s and
doesnít drive. She informed me that I would need to purchase a gift to
bring. My sister and all of my friends disagreed and felt that my mother
should have purchased one gift and put both our names on the card. What
is your opinion of the proper protocol?
It seems as if you were doing your mother a favor by going to the
wedding with her and driving her there and back. Since that was likely
the case, I agree that she should have bought a gift and that you didnít
have to. I donít feel as if your name should have been on the card
unless you helped to pay for the gift. The ideal situation would have
been for you to bring a card for the couple, signed by you, and your
mother could do whatever she wanted for the marrying couple.
Now, about the family friction: It was a disagreement and now itís over
and you all should consider it a learning experience and move on. Your
mom is in her 80s. Someday after she is gone, you may regret holding
onto a resentment about such a small thing.
Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers. Contact her via e-mail at