Hippo Manchester
December 22, 2005

Pinings: Family Friction
by Sherry Hughes

Hi Sherry,

I enjoy reading your column in the Hippo very much. You always tell it like it is. I need your help with a problem that has caused some friction in our family. Last summer my mom asked me to be her guest to a wedding. I agreed to be her guest and drive her as she is in her 80s and doesn’t drive. She informed me that I would need to purchase a gift to bring. My sister and all of my friends disagreed and felt that my mother should have purchased one gift and put both our names on the card. What is your opinion of the proper protocol?

Sincerely,

Phoebe

- Dear Phoebe,

It seems as if you were doing your mother a favor by going to the wedding with her and driving her there and back. Since that was likely the case, I agree that she should have bought a gift and that you didn’t have to. I don’t feel as if your name should have been on the card unless you helped to pay for the gift. The ideal situation would have been for you to bring a card for the couple, signed by you, and your mother could do whatever she wanted for the marrying couple.

Now, about the family friction: It was a disagreement and now it’s over and you all should consider it a learning experience and move on. Your mom is in her 80s. Someday after she is gone, you may regret holding onto a resentment about such a small thing.