Pinings: Pretty Tight
have a good job and make pretty good money. I like to go shopping with
friends or by myself on the weekends. I spend within my limits and have
very little debt. My fiancť has a different attitude about money. I
wouldnít call him a penny-pincher ó but heís pretty tight. He gave me a
beautiful diamond ring, but I know he researched the best deal for
months before buying it. We arenít fighting about the wedding because my
family is paying for everything. But we are fighting about how to spend
our money Ö how he spends his versus how I spend mine.
thinks we should be saving for a house. I donít really care if we have a
house right away. We live in a great apartment that is affordable with
plenty of room. He believes we are ďthrowing our money awayĒ by not
buying. Iíll buy a house with him, but I donít feel as if I have to
adopt his views about money.
see this as a difference in philosophy, he thinks itís about wrong and
right. He judges what I spend money on. I figure if I can afford it,
what does he care?
Iím with you. I think this is absolutely about philosophy.
am a big believer in separate money. Iíve had relationships with people
who are penny- pinchers and others who are spendthrifts. Neither of
those things bother me. What does bother me is when someone feels that I
need to adapt to their way of thinking. If you can pay your bills and
meet your obligations for housing and all that goes along with it,
whatís to argue about?
If you want to buy a house, start a fund that you both contribute to for
a downpayment (perhaps using some of the money you will ultimately get
as wedding gifts) and go from there. Renting isnít throwing your money
away: you are paying for a place to live. Owning a home is a smarter use
of your money, but itís not for everyone.
The two of you should schedule some visits with a financial planner
before you marry. Discuss your differences about how to spend and how to
save and see if you can meet somewhere in the middle ó or at the very
least, agree to disagree.
Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers. Contact her via e-mail at