Hippo Manchester
November 24, 2005

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Pinings: The Letter
by Sherry Hughes

Dear Sherry,

A few months ago, I got a letter (e-mail) from an old boyfriend. He wanted to get together for a drink and talk about old times. We were dating for about a year a long time ago …about six years ago. He is dating someone else, and was just interested in being friends.

I said yes initially, but then he told me that I couldn’t tell anyone because his girlfriend is very jealous. He actually wanted to meet up at my house rather than a public place. I said absolutely not and that if he wanted to have a drink, we would need to do it at a restaurant or bar, regardless of what his girlfriend might think. I haven’t heard from him again.

What do you think of this?

- Sammie

Dear Sammie,

I think your ex wanted more than just a drink. I also think you are better off not being in touch with him.

I really believe that if something feels like a secret, it is. And if someone is keeping a secret from a partner (unless it has to do with a birthday or other gift-giving occasion), I’d wonder why that is.

I don’t have the perfect relationship — no one does — but I know what not to do, and the big one is to not lie.

If your ex wants to have drinks in a public place, great. Ask him if your beau can come along and then see what he says.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers. Contact her via e-mail at sah103@hotmail.com.