Pinings — Advice by Sherry Hughes

Our Pal Al...

Dear Pinings,

One of the women I work with is really in love with her boyfriend, Al. I agree that heís quite a catch; he seems to be really nice, she says heís good to her and he has a good job. The problem? Heís also my boyfriend. He and I hooked up after we met one day when he came in here to see her. He called me and it was Ö magic. Heís not really my ďboyfriend,Ē I guess, because she is the one he spends all his time with Ö but I know he really cares for me. He comes over to my apartment a few times a week and I know that thereís no way heís having the same kind of hot sex with her that heís having with me.

He says that Iím way better in bed than she is.

I donít want to hurt her feelings but Iím tired of just sitting there quietly while she goes on and on about him. I told him he had to choose and he said he couldnít; he wants to be with both of us.

- Margie

Dear Margie,

Oh, itís really tough to know where to begin. Iím going to give it to you straight from the hip, okay? You, my dear, are being used. Al is interested in having sex with you, but thatís it. If he wanted anything else, heíd make it be something else.

One piece of advice I found very helpful in my life was to always pay more attention to what people do as opposed to what they say. Stop believing everything he says and watch what heís doing. Al has the best of both worlds. Heís telling you he canít choose, but of course he can. His girlfriend is the innocent victim of two deceitful people, one of whom she loves and trusts. Telling her whatís going on would only make you feel better, and frankly, would be a cruel thing to do.

And be careful what you wish for; if he leaves his girlfriend to be with you, you are then with a man who you know is a cheater.

And one more thing: If you arenít already practicing safe sex, start now.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers. Reach her at

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