Pinings: Crying All The Time
I have just started
going to therapy. Iím 34 years old and was feeling I was losing it. I
was angry and crying all the time and I had started to drink too much. I
am married and have a good relationship with my husband Rob.
The problem is that
it looks as though my depression (my therapistís term) is a result of
not dealing with abuse in my past. She said that if we donít deal with
it when it happens, we deal with it later. Iím dealing with stuff that
happened when I was 12 years old. She said Iíve just buried all of the
feelings around that for all of these years.
Although Iím dealing
with it now, my husband isnít very compassionate. He says that it
happened a million years ago and I need to just let it go. I am full of
rage, Sherry, and it is exacerbated by his casual attitude toward it. I
want to punch him!
How can I make him
understand my need for his support?
Iím sorry this is all so difficult for you. I have some experience here
(with therapy and dealing with junk from my past ó oh, and the
unsupportive partner thing ó that one too in my past).
It truly sucks that you are going through such a hard time and itís
compounded by an insensitive partner. Ask your therapist if the two of
you can meet with her together. Maybe she can explain to him what you
are going through. If he refuses to go, I hope you continue the work you
are doing on your own. Try explaining to him that you are doing what you
see as the best thing for you. Itís not about him. He might deal with
this kind of thing differently and thatís his prerogative. Ask him to
please keep his ďget over itĒ comments to himself ó they arenít
constructive and they undermine what you are feeling.
Your rage is understandable. In addition to therapy, you might want to
try some physical outlet for your feelings (kickboxing comes to mind).
Thanks for writing.
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