Pinings — Advice by Sherry Hughes
Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'?
I work with a bunch of people who I really like. Iím friends with a few of them and we go out sometimes on the weekends. I hooked up with one guy one night after we had all been out. It wasnít exactly meaningless Ö but I donít want to be his girlfriend or anything.
The problem now is that every time we go out, he hits on me Ö like we are going to end up in bed again. I donít want to be a jerk to him, but heís really bugging me. At work, itís all good because we arenít in the same department. We see each other at lunch and stuff, but the only time he comes on to me is when we are out on the weekend, you know, after weíve all had a few drinks.
What can I say to him to keep him as a friend but to let him know that I donít want to have sex with him again?
Honesty is the best policy. Say to him, ďWe had a nice time and it was really fun, but Iíd like to just leave it at that, OK? Letís be friends and hang out together, but I really donít want anything more than that to happen again.Ē
And after you say that to him (preferably at a time when no one is drinking) be sure you stick to it. That means no mixed signals (like flirting or dirty dancing or pretend jealousy or possessiveness when heís with another woman) and sticking to your guns.
The situation could be a lot worse than it is. Consider it a learning experience.
Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers. Reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org
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