CD Reviews: The Worst of 2005
by Dan Brian
Black Eyed Peas, Monkey Business
It’s hard to believe that once upon a time, in 1998, the Black Eyed Peas
could out Fugee the Fugees and could have been considered the new A
Tribe Called Quest. “Selling Out” seems like a term of the past and a
consequence that few care about these days but in 2004, with the
addition of female vocalist Fergie and the release of Elephunk, it
became immediately obvious the group had become a capitalistic whore.
in 2005, our radios and our ears were graced with nothing less than
inane tripe from the Black Eyed Peas and their latest release Monkey
Business. The first single “Don’t Phunk With My Heart” was not bad in
comparison to the onslaught of singles off of Elephunk that would often
cause paralysis and people to punch infants. But it was with the release
of “My Humps” that the Black Eyed Peas became an immediate danger to our
society. “My Humps” is pro-actively damaging to our youth, not only by
leaving “lady lumps” of tumors in kids’ heads that are bound show up on
MRIs down the road but also by leaving faux impressions scorched into
their skulls of what decent pop music is.
Madonna, Confessions On A Dance Floor
Madge just won’t give up! Madonna, once a post-modern dream of constant
reinvention, seems to have been stricken with euro-electronic
Alzheimer’s keeping her in a constant state of washed-upery.
Weezer, Make Believe
were understanding about the Green Album and we cut you slack with
Maladroit, but Make Believe is unacceptable. We’re very disappointed in
you young band... Are you on the drugs again?