May 31, 2007

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UDO, Mastorcutor
Candlelight Records, 2007

Former Accept frontman Udo Dirkschneider may be short, doughy and a habitual gargler of broken glass, but that doesn’t mean you should let him near your girlfriend, because he’ll steal her, word. His Judas Priest-vs-AC/DC formula hasn’t changed since his “Balls to the Wall” days, but what’s special is how in the grand scheme of things it’s now officially back in underground fashion, sort of, maybe. The thrash-metal brigade had its big party and left the truck parked in the front window after much singing about blood-spurty mayhem and witch-hunting of “poseurs” (unless the poses in question involved sounding exactly like Slayer and donning black tee-shirts advertising punk bands they didn’t understand), but that thing’s over. Sure, there’s that math-metal nonsense uttering a few self-conscious bleats on MySpace, but do you really expect the kids who buy that lumpy sewage to survive the lethal levels of X their parents dumped into their blood? Don’t be silly. You know what, too? Some of these UDO songs are good, a lot better than the last album. And Lordi thinks Udo’s awesome, which is like getting the personal endorsement of God, if you’re heavily into Lordi. A-Eric W. Saeger