November 2, 2006


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Skid Row, Revolutions Per Minute
SPV Records, 2006

You'll recall this Sebastian-free flavor of Skid Row from Manchester Riverfest '05; they played along with some of Slaughter and the tattered remnants of a few other metalloids. With Aquanet-metal slumming more pathetically in the great media doghouse than ever before, suddenly resurfacing as Pantera converts doesn't fool anyone, so bands like this are forced to choose between carrying on the grown-up-kid shtick or going begging for hit singles (or working the Andrew Lloyd Webber angle, which Sebastian tried once to mixed success, or doing 10-hour shifts at Jiffy Lube. And so on). As you'd guess, they selected (A), which compels them to make silly little wee-wee jokes and meet a quota of seriously unfunny Larry the Cable Guy routines ("White Trash), and if they weren't scoring with every Carmen Electra wannabe in Podunk everyone would pretty much feel sorry for 'em. There's at least one guy in the band who still wants to make a game out of it, though, thus we're the recipients of a shockingly non-sucky nu-metal chest-puffer in "Disease" and an ambitious cover of The Alarm's "Strength." C+

— Eric W. Saeger