September 6, 2007

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Scorpions, Humanity Hour 1
New Door/Universal Records, Aug. 28
Whoa — hey, over-30somethings, put down the remote and check it out — the Scorpions (or is it just “Scorpions” with no “the,” the original riddle of the Sphynx) are back! OK, not as super-far “back” as when Michael Schenker had to cut elementary school classes so he could go into the studio and lay down the lead guitar heroics of “Speedy’s Coming,” but… no, not as “back” as the Animal Magnetism album either, you remember, with “The Zoo” and all. Actually, they’re “back” as in “Wind of Change” is still a radio hog, as in “let’s forget about Unbreakable” back, meaning someone took a time machine and beamed these guys to 1991 and they’re just now following up the ’80s-metal power ballads that made their money-snuffling Lieber & Krebs managers happy with an entire album’s worth of Orwellian “Wind of Change” and “No One Like You” things. Since nearly everyone knows someone who’ll be overjoyed to know about all this, sales of Zoloft are expected to spike. C+Eric W. Saeger.