January 18, 2007

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RBD, Rebels
Virgin/EMI Records, 2006

Like Frankie J, RBD is more than willing to toss their Spanish fans to the sharks for the sake of having their posters made available in all US Walmarts, ie titling their album “Rebels” is like Kelly Clarkson releasing an album called “Prayer For the Blood-Drenched Effigy of the Sacrificed Goat-Beast.” Faithful watchers of Telemundo know these plastic hotties from their soap opera, and, well, that should about do it as far as background — picture the bimboramuses from All My Children forming a band and you’re pretty much doomed to getting the idea. As you’ve guessed by now, this is dangerously toxic material that should come with a warning sticker on the shrinkwrap; maybe the last time you checked in with Spanish-gone-American pop was Ricky Martin, but this is the purest strain of green slime imaginable. If there’s anything to like about this, it’s the thought of All 4 One suing RBD for ripping off “I Swear” in “Tu Amor.” D E.W.S.