September 10, 2009

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Lynam, Tragic City Symphony
Mascot Records, Aug. 18

Duh whoops, my desk has been so buried in everything else that I wasn’t even aware emo had suddenly (and inevitably) evolved into ’80s stripper-pole-metal. A DIY crash-course finds Endeverafter leading the pack, boasting an ability to weld Bret Michaels and Iron Maiden to Good Charlotte, but if these Alabamans aren’t already in second place now it’s only a matter of time. The super-cleverly named “Porn Star” metalizes the Roy Orbison chestnut “You Got It,” let’s start there, so you’ll know that the only thing that’s changed in this slum — aside from the fact that quartets of New Jersey squidgereens are, as of just now, no longer the only sorts eager to play this ridiculous laughableness — is the emo-sounding part. Had they surfaced in the ’80s, Lynam might have knocked out a bloop hit as a clone of Def Leppard, the direction to which their yearnings most often gravitate even if their image bespeaks Tommy Lee at his most Pepe LePew (chick undoing the singer’s zipper on the insert, check). All does not reek of lost Hysteria tracks, though: these kids were obviously into Maroon 5 (“Lindsay Says”) and Stone Temple Pilots around the time they threw away their Power Rangers. Mars Volta must be making the rounds on their tour bus (“Save My Soul”) and holy hamburgers, they’ve got a sense of humor, going by the hoe-down fiddle pitted against Crue guitars in “White Trash Superstar.” B-EWS