December 20, 2007

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KT Tunstall, Sounds of the Season
Capitol Records, Oct. 14
This six-songer from the only reason Scotland has to live is only available at Target stores, part of an apparently brilliant marketing plan from some middle management guy the big shots found cowering under a cube somewhere at a division called, and I quote, “NBC Universal Video, Music & Product Development.” Home-cookin’ stuff like that just makes you want to run right out and cut down your own pine tree, doesn’t it?

We’re losing her, folks. This isn’t just polished, it’s a bunch of pseudo-hip Christmas grotesqueries die-molded from Plastigoop to evince up-to-the-nanosecond rock-star detachment. If I wanted to hear a kazoo-buzzed joke version of Hawaiian Christmas-joke song “Mele Kalikimaka” I’d feel a lot warmer and fuzzier if Wesley Willis were singing the chorus and MF Doom weer rapping the lead. And leading off her Santa record with a weary-sounding “2000 Miles” is just so… correct you want to run into the mall screaming the Peter Finch rant from Network until security stops wetting their pants long enough to think about calling the real cops. C- — E. W. S.