June 7, 2007

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Holly Dolly, Pretty Donkey Girl
Capitol/EMI Records, 2007

The latest Eastern bloc conspiracy to control the minds of American toddlers involves a babe wearing a giant rubber donkey head and taking a sideways snipe at Britney Spears. Our tale of terror begins with a Finnish band reworking the vibe of “Do You Know the Muffin Man” by adding Euro-pop techno effects and Alvin and the Chipmunks vocals, all of which resulted in “Dolly Song,” the most hellishly addictive 2.5 minutes of rugrat-ear-bait since the Macarena. In no time, our little jackass hottie was brought to Pixar life on the net, abetted by some furry cutie-monsters, and at this writing we’re waiting to see if recent meet-n-greets with oceans of brats in New York are going to result in the same level of popularity she/it enjoys in France and Sweden. The rest of the album is made of cover songs — “Don’t Worry Be Happy,” “La Isla Bonita,” etc. — all following the same high-pitched Barney-dinosaur-gone-techno schematic. B+Eric W. Saeger