July 15, 2010

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Ashers, Kill Your Master
Thorp Records, July 27
This CD from a squad of Stoughton, Mass.,-area guys came in with another from a band called Hell Within from, you know, Lowell. I had nothing whatsoever to say about Hell Within, a band who couldn’t be more generically screamo-vs.-cookie-monster if their bottle-factory jobs depended on it (I mean, there’s not even any ripping off of Meshuggah in there, which is clearly mandated on page 6, Section 2-A of the 2010 Guide to Making Generic Death Metal), so I chose these guys (I further submit that Ashers has earned the tenuously local support of this fine newspaper, being that one of their parents or something paid for them to “tour” Europe, meaning that a grand total of six metal-nerds scattered throughout England/Iceland/Russia/Spain will have vague long-term memories of Ashers concerts at whatever dank, burned-down stink-piles they play in). Further, at least Ashers want Street Dogs to be their BFF MySpace friends, so they’re punky, like Agnostic Front, with their dollar-store production and clear attitude of “We know we’ll have to get day jobs soon enough, but please just let us have this, pathetic as it is, for now.” And also, they’re fronted by Mark Civitarese of The Unseen, which is, in the eyes of billions, important…

Oh, what am I doing. Get to “Killing Your Master” or whatever it is soon already, willya, or go jump in the lake. Don’t you miss dorky upper-middle-class straight-edgers and mixing it up with non-stupid slam-dancers? CEric W. Saeger