October 25, 2007

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The Comebacks (PG-13)
Scenes from Remember the Titans, a couple of the Rockys, Friday Night Lights, Radio and countless other sports movies get turned into sight gags, jumbled together and shot at you in random order in the tiresome The Comebacks, a movie which (along with Epic Movie and Date Movie) is starting to make Scary Movie look rather accomplished and Airplane like Citizen Kane.

Enough with the parodying a movie type. These films don’t create new laughs, they just recreate some budget version of some original film’s scene and then add a wiener joke. Why make me suffer through the “parody”? Just give me the wiener joke.

In so far as this movie has a plot, it involves Lambeau Fields (David Koechner), called “Coach” by everyone, deciding to leave his job as a, er, helping hand in the field of horse breeding to coach football for a small Texas college. His team consists of a variety of types — the showboat, the nerd, the golden boy, the indestructible kid with a promising future and the unpromising name Aseel Tare (which Coach, naturally, pronounces “ACL Tear.”) Via training montages and an “inspirational” speech during the final game, Coach seeks to take the team all the way. Meanwhile, his wife (Melora Hardin) hopes he’ll see that he’s neglecting the family (including the daughter who dates a couple of the members of her dad’s team).

There’s exactly one funny part of The Comebacks and it involves two fans (comedians Jason and Randy Sklar) who, like the old men in the balcony of The Muppet Show, comment on the game. (“Do you remember the Titans?” “Very forgettable.” ba-dum-bum!) They get a few seconds before each of the “big” games, with their scenes adding up to maybe three or so minutes of the whole movie. Three or so sort of funny minutes out of an hour and 24. F

Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content throughout and some drug material. Directed by Tom Brady and written by Ed Yearger, Joey Gutierrez, John Aboud, Michael Colton, Adam Jay Epstein and Andrew Jacobson, The Comebacks is an hour and 24 minutes long and is distributed in wide release by 20th Century Fox Distribution.