Boomers — How I Saved The World...

How I saved the world (between coffee breaks)...

By Bruce Bressack

As you can see, sometimes I get a little agitated. It doesn't happen often, but when it does "look out"!

Not that I'd hurt a fly mind you, but I have been known to tell them "where to go and how to get there". They usually laugh at me, in that fly sort of way. And, when they do, I simply threaten to cut them out of my will.  Shuts 'em up. Works every time!

Alas, on those rare occasions when I do get peeved, it always helps me to remember the words of the famous philosopher, 'Harvey Wallbanger', who once (almost) said, "It's better to bounce off a few walls than to have a few walls bounce off of you".

Now that's philosophy at its best....surreal, yet informative....succinct, yet oblique....mind-altering, yet mind-less...fruitless, yet fruitless.

Hey, did I mention that I saved the world today?

That's right, saved the whole damn world......and it wasn't even on my calendar or my 'To Do" list.

How you say?

Well, I got a call from the President this morning and he was wondering how I felt about transferring Sovereignty back to the Iraqis.  I said it was a good thing, since it was, after all, their country.

Then, before I could hang up the phone with the 'Pres', he asked me which country we should invade [I think he meant "free"] next.

I said, "We've probably freed enough people for the time being....why don't we just give peace a chance".

Well, he loved the 'give peace a chance' idea.  He'd never heard about this concept before, and asked if he could trademark the phrase.

I said, "I think Lennon owns the copyright, but I don't think he'd mind if you jump aboard the peace train for awhile".

I hung up the phone, confident in the knowledge that George would do the right thing, especially in an election year.

So, without even meaning to, I saved the world (or at least Iran) today. 

Yea me!

—Story by Bruce Bressack

 
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