May 14, 2009

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LONGSHOTS: Lying from baseball’s Pinocchio prompts questions
by Dave Long

First there was a flat out “no” to Katie Couric on 60 Minutes. Then he told ESPN’s Peter Gammons this in an interview he had to do after disclosures in Selena Robert’s upcoming book had him dead to rights: “This lady is coming out with all these allegations, all these lies because she’s writing an article for Sports Illustrated and she’s coming out with a book in May.” After Alex Rodriguez recanted that because it was all true, he said he only took steroids while a member of the Texas Rangers.

That happened in a press conference that the Yankees brass was so confident he couldn’t get through without a Ralph Kramden like “huminaaa, huminaaaa” moment, they allowed NO follow-up questions. And last week came the assertion in Selena Roberts’ new book about him that Pinocchio Rodriguez may have been taking the drugs since high school.

That got me to thinking — who the heck is asking the questions out there? And more importantly, why did the reporters follow that absurd Yankees no follow-up questions dictate? And finally, I wish I was there to ask a few — ’cause I have a bunch for myself. So here’s a couple I’d ask, along with a host of others that I’ve been storing up that range from the tough to some from the more friendly variety that  I’ve been wondering about from people I don’t run across on a day-to-day basis.

So to A-fraud, let’s ask — When are you going to stop all the lying? I don’t know who your mom is, but if you were my kid, no matter how old, I’d  have washed your mouth out with soap a long time ago.

To the people who pay to see him — When are you going to say enough is enough and not give the Yankees and MLB any more of your money until he passes a lie detector test?

For just suspended for 50 games Manny Ramirez — What excuse are you going to use? I didn’t know what I was taking or the dog ate my homework. Each is about as original as the other.

To my friend the battling barrister — Not Liberal Lou DeMato: Why can’t the Dodgers not only withhold the 50 games worth of his $25 million, but since their entire marketing efforts are based around him and he did this to himself — why can’t they sue him for financially messing up their season?

Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig — Hey Bud, do you want to put the steroids mess behind you once and for all? Then find a way to release the names of the 103 who tested positive in 2004 and take the heat for a while. Then there will be no bombshells left to drop. And a second one — how much are you paying your PR staff? — ’cause that’s PR 101.

To actor Robert Redford, who’s working on a film on Jackie Robinson breaking baseball’s color barrier — Hey, Bob, are you going to address the question I’ve always wondered about? How much did opening an avenue to the incredibly deep talent pool of the Negro Leagues and building a new customer base in black Americans who’d pay to see Jackie play have to do with it? Or was that just a byproduct of righting the terrible injustice? 

And here’s one for Branch himself: What do you think of Redford getting the part to play you in the as yet untiled upcoming movie?

To Theo Epstein: If you got the offer — would you trade Dustin Pedroia for Evan Longoria?

For David Ortiz — Is it a second straight horrendous slump to start the season, is it Manny’s not hitting behind you, is the power’s gone or is it something else?

To my friend Pete Tarrier: With the way guys get suspended these days for a love tap, what do you think the sentence would be from David Stern after the famous Kevin McHale’s below-the-Tarrier-Line body slam take-down of Kurt Rambis in the ’84 playoffs — life or the chair?

To Paul Pierce — Hey, Paul, what’s with all the slow starts?

For Rajon Rondo — Are you waiting for a fifth or a sixth time for the ball to get stolen before you knock off that letting the ball roll up the court so the clock would start trick?

To UConn alum and afternoon host of the Home Team on (plug, plug) WGAM Mike Mutnansky — who wins the your alum MVP for the fantastic Bulls-Celtics, Ben Gordon or Ray Allen?

To Doc Rivers — Hey, Doc, what ever happened to that Tony Allen guy? It’s not like Stephon Marbury is giving you anything and I do recall Tony doing a lot more than that last year in the playoffs.

And speaking of Starbury this one’s for you — who’s your agent? Anyone who could get you $20 million a year should go right to the Agents Hall of Fame without having to pass go or wait the five years mere mortal like Scott Boras will have to. That’s even better than Boras snookering Theo into giving JD Drew $15 million per for five years. 

Speaking of good agents, to Pedro Martinez — who’s yours? Think your strategy of waiting out a big injury on a contender to get your $5 million asking price will work after going 5-6 and posting a 5.61 ERA in 2008?

I know the great John Wooden has weighed in on this for his two biggest stars from back in the day in taking Lew Alcindor over Bill Walton. But I want to hear what the legend has to say about three more great rivals. So, Coach — who you taking in these three, Larry or Magic? Wilt or Russell? And with the drum beat about to really get started on this if they wind up in the finals — Kobe or LeBron?

And while we’re at it, since you are one of the most astute judges of talent in the NBA —  who you taking in that last match-up Danny Ainge? And also —  are you going to give Big Baby Davis the $3 to $5 million he’ll get offered when he hits the free agent market this summer?

And speaking of Big Baby — let’s ask him — did you know that baby was going in at the end of Game Four?

Dave Long can be reached at dlong@hippopress.com. He hosts Dave Long and Company from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. each Saturday on WGAM – The Game, 1250-AM Manchester, 900-AM Nashua.


5/7/2009 Celtics bull their way into round two — finally!

4/30/2009 Tanked from the headlines, the Fenway series yanks it back
4/23/2009 Draft winds blow NFL teams to make interesting decisions
4/16/2009 Spring cleaning of a cluttered sports mind
4/9/2009 Red Sox Nation springs back to life
4/2/2009 Climbing sports Mt. Rushmore
3/26/2009 Mount Rushmore offerings and other spring thoughts
3/19/2009 B-Ball, Coach B and Baseball in the mailbag today
3/12/2009 Great talent a rush but not all it's cracked up to be
3/5/2009 In Bill we still trust?
2/26/2009 A mountain over this molehill
2/19/2009 Steroids muscle in on game's strength
2/12/2009 Bonner bombs away on Cs in garden party homecoming
2/5/2009 Nation's angst ends as V-Tek says what the heck and rejoins flock
1/29/2009 Super Bowl Sunday brings to mind past and present
1/22/2009 The elusive quality of greatness is the topic of the day
1/15/2009 Spring cleaning of the sports mind a little early
1/8/2009 Will hall have Rice on the menu come July
1/1/2009 Predictions and wants for the year ahead
12/25/2008 A look in the rear view mirror at 2008
12/18/2008 The Pats' playoff run and new Yankees contracts make big news
12/11/2008 Random thoughts and associations
12/4/2008 Pats should consider options when it comes to Cassel and Brady
11/27/2008 Putting the thanks in Thanksgiving
11/20/2008 News of the week has people talking
11/13/2008 Cassel's in the clouds compared to early expectations11/6/2008 Mail bag delivers some interesting questiont10/30/2008"Yankees Suck" - like mentality fuels political discontent10/23/2008 No ray of hope as season closes in Tampa Bay
10/16/2008 Going to the nines a thing of the past
10/9/2008 C-eeing some interesting stories unfold this week
10/2/2008 "How come?" is the main question of the day
9/25/2008 Observations on baseball in 2008
9/18/2008 If I were a QB, a DB, a stat geek or a soccer mom ...
9/11/2008 After disaster Brady's bunch won't pass on season
9/4/2008 Pats start off with high expectation and some concerns
8/28/2008 A race to the finish to take all month long
8/21/2008 National news items of interest for local folks
8/14/2008 A little of this and that from the good side of sports pile
8/7/2008 Manny happy returns from the Evil Empire
7/31/2008 Manny being Manny - the sequel Part XXXII
7/24/2008 Open the mail bag for some Red Sox questions
7/17/2008 Hall-worthy or not the latest question on Schilling
7/10/2008 Baseball season has actually started
7/03/2008 UL editorial in denial — stop the presses
6/26/2008 Boston turnaround makes NBA green with envy
6/19/2008 Letters from the NBA finals
6/12/2008 A Father's Day letter to dad
6/5/2008 Twenty-one and six are the lucky numbers for the Cs
5/29/2008 Sometimes a bat is just a bat
5/22/2008 Some questions for folks right up there in the front row
5/15/2008 Numbers don't add up to supposed Fenway
5/8/2008 Cavalier attitude nearly derails first meeting with LeBron
5/1/2008 I'm so old,I remember ...
4/24/2008 Sox Line-ups, Celtics and ESPN investigations are in the mail bag
4/17/2008 Show me the way to that All-Star Game
4/10/2008 For C'ing a great time ahead as playoffs arrive this spring
4/3/2008 Bill James and the stats for 2008 — Take Two
3/27/2008 Drowning in the NCAA office pool
3/20/2008 Whether forecast is right or not is the question
3/13/2008 Comment sparks wonder over just what I did
3/6/2008 New hires, new trades in pro sports
2/28/2008 Celtics issues far from black and white in the early days
2/21/2008 Congressional ineptitude muscles in on steroid hearings
2/14/2008 Basketball rounds into form under the cover of Pats football
2/7/2008 A giant win leaves Patriots fans feeling blue
1/31/2008 Foxboro lads earn pats on the back, and old Celtics mystique makes sense
1/24/2008 Mail bag asks about Rice, the hall and wild-eyed liberals
1/17/2008 Peyton manning the fort back home as Pats take on Chargers
1/10/2008 Grumpy old Dolphins are lost at sea on this one
1/3/2008 The primary concern is getting a clear picture
12/27/2007 The annual sports awards close out 2007
12/20/2007 Holiday gifts for the deserving and not so deserving
12/13/2007 Jets land in Foxboro as pat go number 14
12/06/2007 To include or not to include Ellsbury — that is the questione
11/29/2007 Yanked from the sports pages in the Big Apple
11/22/2007 Here's what I'm thankful for at Thanksgiving
11/15/2007 Waiting game leads to a series of random thoughts
11/8/2007 OK — it's week nine and I'm ready to talk
11/1/2007 Finally a little shut-eye for a sleep deprived nation
10/25/2007 A rocky mountain high for Red Sox Nation
10/18/2007 Time to go to the mailbag
10/112007 Who'd more popular, Patriots or Red Sox
10/4/2007 IA weekend chock full of nuts, chokes and great moments
9/27/2007 I hate to say I told you so...
9/20/2007 Media and fan bias shades the severity of sports crime
9/13/2007 All round baseball week starts with a look at leaders
9/6/2007 It's Superbowl or bust for Pats in 2007
8/30/2007 The race is on as baseball enters September
8/23/2007 Spine vs. lack of spine theme for school board debate
8/16/2007 Time for thoughts from the summer mailbag
8/9/2007 Will this three make it big in Boston?
8/2/2007 Trading places all in a day's work for Boston GMs
7/26/2007 Getting out of a slump; an ameteur golfer can feel Sox' pain
7/19/2007 Does second chance guarantee a great outcome?
7/12/2007 Masse still a honeymooner in local baseball culture
7/5/2007 Brown Monster a big Fisher Cat hit
6/28/2007 Rambling along with some random thoughts
6/21/2007 The future is now for the C's come Thursday night
6/14/2007 Homers create bonds among fans for generations
6/07/2007 Sox win by losing two of three this weekend
5/31/2007 Lutz of things to think about
5/24/2007 Down 2-0 M’s for playoff payoff
5/17/2007 Baseballs' conventional wisdom is for the birds
5/10/2007 The Rocket lands in Gotham during Monarchs' playoff break
5/3/2007 Raiders say "No Moss" in fight with talented wideout
4/26/2007 A little history on the ancient Sox and Yanks rivalry
4/19/2007 Lessons to be learned from Robinson, Monarchs and I-Man
4/12/2007 A few questions for the sports gods
4/5/2007 Stanton his case on a variety of current topics
3/29/2007 Sox spring back into action on Monday
3/22/2007 A guide for having fun on NCAA hockey weekend
3/15/2007 The madness of March kicks off on Thursday
3/8/2007 Jumping through hoops after an odd season
3/1/2007 A trip to the mail bag for Hippo Sports
2/22/2007 Six degrees of Muhammed Ali
2/15/2007 Monarchs rule as streak reaches 12
2/8/2007 Talking a good game ahead on all-sports WGAM
2/1/2007 Manning the Super Bowl watch more difficult in '07
1/25/2007 Winning and what else matters in college coaching
1/18/2007 ESPN polls are fanning the flames of national lunacy
1/11/2007 Patriots marching to MIami promised land
1/4/2007 Predictions for 2007
12/28/2006 REcognizing the best on the national front
12/21/2006 Present under the tree for all
12/14/2006 Mailbag open for busines at a time filled with questions
12/07/2006 Lions and Gators and Bears, oh my
11/30/2006 Does Fenway frankness roll to the negative side?
11/23/2006 Turkeys and thanks as the big day arrives
11/16/2006 Green-around-the-gills Celts looking to earn some respect
11/9/2006 Blame game reaches new local low
11/2/2006 A week of highs and lows in sport
10/26/2006 Curses! The U is foiled again
10/19/2006 Time for a trip to the sports mailbag
10/12/2006 U turns Granite Stare around on football
10/05/2006 James' gang riding into town to face the Celtics
09/28/2006 Words to describe a lost Red Sox season
09/21/2006 Football Friday can't stack up to Saturday
09/14/2006 A lesson to be learned in remembering a somber day
09/07/2006 Usual pat choice to win AFC East questioned
08/31/2006 Whining won't yank AL East away from NY
08/24/2006 Spring forward or fall behind for Sox
08/17/2006 Trash talking abounds in the Empire over Sox and Pats
08/10/2006 Monarchs call press conference to crown new leader
08/03/2006 Deadly Fenway duo leave mark on history
07/27/2006 Word of the wise gets lost in sports translation
07/20/2006 Looking beyond the Big Three
07/13/2006 Cream rises to the top of baseball talk at the Dot
07/06/2006 Greetings and salutations toThe Nation at mid-year
06/29/2006 Being dealt is a consequence of the trade
06/22/2006 A year later, Boudreau's cup runneth over
06/15/2006 See dogs and cats battle for a different fan experience
06/08/2006 Not Bad Anymore league makes a comeback
06/01/2006 Luck goes Sox way with Lowell in Massachusetts
05/25/2006 Pitching in to help the Sox trade a few places
05/18/2006 Going to school by cutting Red Sox payroll
05/11/2006 Columnist blows his mind; here are the results
05/04/2006 Yanks stormed Manchester 37 years ago this week
04/27/2006 Regular crowd nowhere to be found come playoff time
04/20/2006 Questions and answers from the mailbag
04/13/2006 Local sports teams spring into action
04/06/2006 Predictable Red Sox season lies ahead
03/30/2006 Analyzing this and that as Pats roster shrinks
03/23/2006 A week of following the bouncing balls
03/16/2006 The beginning of four days of basketball bliss
03/09/2006 Many miss the central point of the story
03/02/2006 Better late than never to jump through local hoops
02/23/2006 Celtic green means raw, not envy as it once did
02/16/2003 An issue that is all black and white
02/09/2006 Nomar curses from the UL's Sullivan
02/02/2006 Super memories from 40 years of watching the big game
01/26/2006 A certain uniformity to the inquiries in the mailbag
01/19/2006 Sudden end to Pats' season leave just one thing to do
01/12/2006 Pats on the back for the football team
01/05/2006 Predictions for Manchester Sports 2031
A lesson for Leo the Lip and nice guys everywhere

Chop House opening is Berra of good news
Event-filled weekend missed en route to evil empire
Hero’s death lays to rest misuse of the word
Saint Theo ascends to new heights in The Nation
Santa sack filled to the brim with sports
Patriots march through injuries toward threepeat
Sports talk should be on the air
Stars shine brightest when winning is in the mix
The Demonization of Johnny Damon
Thirty-seven topics and so little space
Too many holes in Sox for repeat
Trip to the injured list makes it a long weekend for local scribe
Turkeys and giving thanks take center stage this week
Yanked from the edge of your seat