April 12, 2007

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Pinings: E-lationships
by Sherry Hughes sah103@hotmail.com

Dear Pinings,
I started a relationship with a guy Iíll call Bill. Iíve known him for a long time, but only on the Internet and phone. We wrote and talked almost every day but after a while, I realized that he wasnít good about e-mailing on the weekends, which made me think he was married. I asked him and he said no, absolutely not, he was single.

He did spend a lot of time on the phone with me, so I believed him.

About a month ago, he stopped all contact for almost a week. He said he was out of town on business, but I think heís lying. Heís never mentioned traveling for business and also, why wouldnít he have access to the Internet or his cell phone?

When I confronted him this time, he got very angry and said that if I didnít trust him completely, we were finished. And he never answered my questions.

I said fine, and we havenít spoken since.

The problem is that I really miss him. It wasnít like any other relationship I ever had. Iím tempted to call him or write to him just to see how heís doing, but Iím afraid he will be mad and hang up.
Ticely

Dear Ticely,
When you get attached to someone, for whatever reason, there is a void when they are gone. Since you never actually met this man, a big piece of your relationship was missing. He could be 50 years older than you think he is. He could be married, engaged, living with someone or the father of 13 children. He could be unemployed. He could be a criminal, an alcoholic, a drug dealer or a drug addict.

What you probably miss is the attention, the contact, the thrill of getting to know someone.

You can find that again, but Iím going to suggest that you look for someone who you can meet in person at some point and know sitting face to face. Thereís nothing wrong with Internet dating but the reality is often different from the fantasy people create online.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at sah103@hotmail.com

4/5/2007 Nest egg

3/22/2007 hankypanky@badidea.net
3/15/2007 El†Dodgerino
3/8/2007 Congratulations?!?
3/1/2007 What tangled webs
2/22/2007 Hurtful words
2/15/2007 A little recognition please
2/8/2007 Bad news sister
2/1/2007 Toughen up
1/18/2007 Flashback
1/11/2007 Trying to get better
1/04/2007 Scroogey
12/28/2006 Dirty laundry
12/21/2006 Straight shooter
12/14/2006 Nice to meet you
12/7/2006 Survey says!
11/23/2006 Scrooge's night out
11/16/2006 the uncomfortable truth
11/9/2006 BYO-BFF
11/2/2006 Re-styling
10/26/2006 Boozy boys
10/19/2006 Dear readers
10/12/2006 Lack of ambition
10/05/2006 Sorry seems to be the hardest word
09/28/2006 Cheaters, the best reality show ever
09/21/2006 Baby daddy
09/14/2006 Dollars and sense
09/07/2006 I know what boys like
08/24/2006 Act the part
08/17/2006 www.addicted.org
08/10/2006 Cousel-ation prizes
08/03/2006 Bridezillas
07/27/2006 Office space
07/20/2006 Dream a little dream
07/13/2006 Hanging on the telephone
06/29/2006 Lets get it on
06/22/2006 A dubious proposition
06/15/2006 Fighting Fair
06/08/2006 Dogged by guilt
06/01/2006 Itsy bitsy
05/25/2006 Lovey dovey couple
05/18/2006 Simple questions
05/11/2006 My racist friend
05/04/2006 Secret nostalgia
04/27/2006 Making connections
04/20/2006 Live a little
04/13/2006 Live a little
04/06/2006 Torn
03/30/2006 Disagreements
03/23/2006 The simple life
03/16/2006 I thought it was love
03/09/2006 Alone but not lonely
03/02/2006 Compatability?
02/23/2006 A rock and a hard place
02/16/2006 A whole-hearted agreement
02/09/2006 Growing apart
01/26/2006 Tuning out?
01/12/2006 Under pressure
01/05/2006 Sex isn't everything?
A Few Words From Sherry

A LIttle Joy, A Little Heartbreak
Abusive Relationship
Abusive Relationships
Advice to young mother
Annual Tips For Avoiding The Holiday Fight
Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'?
At The Women's Expo

Back In The Same Place
Back Off, Buddy
Bad Breaks
Being Patient
Blog, Blog, Blog
Broke up

California Dreaming
Changing My Mind
Clearing It Up
Cooking Help
Confused and Angry
Consumed By The Internet
Crying All The Time
Dating Again
Ex-Cooperation
Falling Short
Family Friction
Friend, With Benefits
Friends
Friendly Secret
Gift-Giving Season
Go to Funeral?
Homesick
Hunting Season
In Love and Confused
It's the most "beautiful" time of the year...
Keeping Things Secret
Just Sex
Lying, But Not Cheating
Might Get Married
Move Back Home?
My Boyfriend's Computer
My Roommate's Family
Mutual Intrigue
Needs Support
Newly Single Mother
No Explanation
Nosy Neighbors
Nothing Happened
Oh, Grow Up

On Her Way To 'Trouble'

Our Pal Al
Pretty Tight
Publicity Stunt?
Quiet, Please
RSVP, Please
Ruthie's Secret
Should I Stick or Should I Run
Should I Tell Him
Shy Girl
Splitting and Sharing
Stuck In A Sticky Situation
Sucky Gifts
Taking advantage
The Boyfriend & The Friend
The Difficult Coworker
The Letter
The Pain In Spain
The Sad Bride
The Ultimatum
Two Men At The Same Time
Vacation, Not

Why would anyone stay?