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Pinings: Hurtful words
by Sherry Hughes sah103@hotmail.com
Dear Pinings,
My mom constantly uses bad words to describe people. I don’t think she has a bad memory, but it’s as if she can’t remember names so she makes up things about people to remember them. It’s like Flavor Flav did on The Flavor of Love but she’s been doing it forever. She actually calls one of my friends “little Cuban girl” and another one “Long neck” because she has a long neck. I don’t want people to think she’s a racist or that she’s mean because she’s not. I’ve talked to her about it and she just thinks I’m overly sensitive.
Liela
Dear Liela,
This only matters slightly, but you don’t say whether or not your mom does this right to people’s faces. If she does, that’s clearly offensive. If she doesn’t, I’m less concerned. But I totally understand your desire to have your mom remember who your friends are. To me, it’s about respect. To her, it’s probably frivolous.
You can put your foot down and tell her you will never bring friends home again if she doesn’t use their real names. You can tell her it’s hurtful that your friends matter so little to her. You can start calling her by some name that is appropriate to her body size, habits or gender (I’d stay away from “old lady” or things in that realm) and see how she likes it. Or you could warn your friends that she does this and it’s just who she is and she doesn’t seem willing to change.
I’m sorry. I think, for the most part, parents who respect their kids get respect in return.
Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at sah103@hotmail.com
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