February 22, 2007

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Pinings: Hurtful words
by Sherry Hughes sah103@hotmail.com

Dear Pinings,
My mom constantly uses bad words to describe people. I donít think she has a bad memory, but itís as if she canít remember names so she makes up things about people to remember them. Itís like Flavor Flav did on The Flavor of Love but sheís been doing it forever. She actually calls one of my friends ďlittle Cuban girlĒ and another one ďLong neckĒ because she has a long neck. I donít want people to think sheís a racist or that sheís mean because sheís not. Iíve talked to her about it and she just thinks Iím overly sensitive.

Liela

Dear Liela,
This only matters slightly, but you donít say whether or not your mom does this right to peopleís faces. If she does, thatís clearly offensive. If she doesnít, Iím less concerned. But I totally understand your desire to have your mom remember who your friends are. To me, itís about respect. To her, itís probably frivolous.

You can put your foot down and tell her you will never bring friends home again if she doesnít use their real names. You can tell her itís hurtful that your friends matter so little to her. You can start calling her by some name that is appropriate to her body size, habits or gender (Iíd stay away from ďold ladyĒ or things in that realm) and see how she likes it. Or you could warn your friends that she does this and itís just who she is and she doesnít seem willing to change.

Iím sorry. I think, for the most part, parents who respect their kids get respect in return.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at sah103@hotmail.com


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02/23/2006 A rock and a hard place
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02/09/2006 Growing apart
01/26/2006 Tuning out?
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A Few Words From Sherry

A LIttle Joy, A Little Heartbreak
Abusive Relationship
Abusive Relationships
Advice to young mother
Annual Tips For Avoiding The Holiday Fight
Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'?
At The Women's Expo

Back In The Same Place
Back Off, Buddy
Bad Breaks
Being Patient
Blog, Blog, Blog
Broke up

California Dreaming
Changing My Mind
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Confused and Angry
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Crying All The Time
Dating Again
Ex-Cooperation
Falling Short
Family Friction
Friend, With Benefits
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Gift-Giving Season
Go to Funeral?
Homesick
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In Love and Confused
It's the most "beautiful" time of the year...
Keeping Things Secret
Just Sex
Lying, But Not Cheating
Might Get Married
Move Back Home?
My Boyfriend's Computer
My Roommate's Family
Mutual Intrigue
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Newly Single Mother
No Explanation
Nosy Neighbors
Nothing Happened
Oh, Grow Up

On Her Way To 'Trouble'

Our Pal Al
Pretty Tight
Publicity Stunt?
Quiet, Please
RSVP, Please
Ruthie's Secret
Should I Stick or Should I Run
Should I Tell Him
Shy Girl
Splitting and Sharing
Stuck In A Sticky Situation
Sucky Gifts
Taking advantage
The Boyfriend & The Friend
The Difficult Coworker
The Letter
The Pain In Spain
The Sad Bride
The Ultimatum
Two Men At The Same Time
Vacation, Not

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