Pinings: Bad news sister
by Sherry Hughes email@example.com
I wrote a column a while back regarding a woman struggling with a decision. She found out that a friend’s husband was having an affair. The wife, who was a friend of hers, didn’t know. She wanted to know if she should tell. I suggested she talk to the husband, tell him what she knew and encourage him to tell his wife and clear the air. This advice is what I would do in the situation. In another situation, say the affair happened 20 years ago or perhaps they were separated at the time or many other situations, I might have had different advice. I just wanna remind you all that this is all based solely on what I would want, what I would do, what I think I would do, what I hope others would do.
I got another e-mail from a guy who says I’m off base:
You have pretty good advice on balance, but in the case of the laundry room lover, I agree with “Sixty & wiser” and I echoed his thoughts at the time I read your essay. Who are you to interfere in someone else’s troubled relationship? Steer clear and don’t be a busybody. Your advice was way out of line. Just because you would want the ugly truth held up to our eyes doesn’t mean everyone else does.
So far, all of the responses have been from guys. Ladies? I’d love to hear from you all.
Now to this week’s dilemma:
Do you think people really need to have a lot in common to be in a relationship? Do you have to like a lot of the same things?
I met a guy I like a lot and we are getting close. For the first month or so, it felt great. Now, I’m not so sure. As much as I feel a real connection with him emotionally, we don’t really have that much in common. I like to dance and go to social events and he’s more of a homebody. It takes us forever to pick out a movie because our tastes are so different. I like to eat out; he likes to cook at home.
Can this work?
I asked a therapist years ago the same kind of question. I think I said something like, “If you don’t like to do all of the same things, don’t you just do what you like to do together and then do the other stuff with friends?” His reply: “I think there are many divorced people in the world that thought that very thing.”
Words to live by.
Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at firstname.lastname@example.org