February 8, 2007


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Pinings: Bad news sister
by Sherry Hughes sah103@hotmail.com

Dear Readers,
I wrote a column a while back regarding a woman struggling with a decision. She found out that a friend’s husband was having an affair. The wife, who was a friend of hers, didn’t know. She wanted to know if she should tell. I suggested she talk to the husband, tell him what she knew and encourage him to tell his wife and clear the air. This advice is what I would do in the situation. In another situation, say the affair happened 20 years ago or perhaps they were separated at the time or many other situations, I might have had different advice. I just wanna remind you all that this is all based solely on what I would want, what I would do, what I think I would do, what I hope others would do.

I got another e-mail from a guy who says I’m off base:

You have pretty good advice on balance, but in the case of the laundry room lover, I agree with “Sixty & wiser” and I echoed his thoughts at the time I read your essay. Who are you to interfere in someone else’s troubled relationship?  Steer clear and don’t be a busybody. Your advice was way out of line. Just because you would want the ugly truth held up to our eyes doesn’t mean everyone else does.

So far, all of the responses have been from guys. Ladies? I’d love to hear from you all.

Now to this week’s dilemma:

Dear Pinings,
Do you think people really need to have a lot in common to be in a relationship? Do you have to like a lot of the same things?

I met a guy I like a lot and we are getting close. For the first month or so, it felt great. Now, I’m not so sure. As much as I feel a real connection with him emotionally, we don’t really have that much in common. I like to dance and go to social events and he’s more of a homebody. It takes us forever to pick out a movie because our tastes are so different. I like to eat out; he likes to cook at home.

Can this work?

Dear Robin,

I asked a therapist years ago the same kind of question. I think I said something like, “If you don’t like to do all of the same things, don’t you just do what you like to do together and then do the other stuff with friends?” His reply: “I think there are many divorced people in the world that thought that very thing.”

Words to live by.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at sah103@hotmail.com

2/1/2007 Toughen up

1/18/2007 Flashback
1/11/2007 Trying to get better
1/04/2007 Scroogey
12/28/2006 Dirty laundry
12/21/2006 Straight shooter
12/14/2006 Nice to meet you
12/7/2006 Survey says!
11/23/2006 Scrooge's night out
11/16/2006 the uncomfortable truth
11/9/2006 BYO-BFF
11/2/2006 Re-styling
10/26/2006 Boozy boys
10/19/2006 Dear readers
10/12/2006 Lack of ambition
10/05/2006 Sorry seems to be the hardest word
09/28/2006 Cheaters, the best reality show ever
09/21/2006 Baby daddy
09/14/2006 Dollars and sense
09/07/2006 I know what boys like
08/24/2006 Act the part
08/17/2006 www.addicted.org
08/10/2006 Cousel-ation prizes
08/03/2006 Bridezillas
07/27/2006 Office space
07/20/2006 Dream a little dream
07/13/2006 Hanging on the telephone
06/29/2006 Lets get it on
06/22/2006 A dubious proposition
06/15/2006 Fighting Fair
06/08/2006 Dogged by guilt
06/01/2006 Itsy bitsy
05/25/2006 Lovey dovey couple
05/18/2006 Simple questions
05/11/2006 My racist friend
05/04/2006 Secret nostalgia
04/27/2006 Making connections
04/20/2006 Live a little
04/13/2006 Live a little
04/06/2006 Torn
03/30/2006 Disagreements
03/23/2006 The simple life
03/16/2006 I thought it was love
03/09/2006 Alone but not lonely
03/02/2006 Compatability?
02/23/2006 A rock and a hard place
02/16/2006 A whole-hearted agreement
02/09/2006 Growing apart
01/26/2006 Tuning out?
01/12/2006 Under pressure
01/05/2006 Sex isn't everything?
A Few Words From Sherry

A LIttle Joy, A Little Heartbreak
Abusive Relationship
Abusive Relationships
Advice to young mother
Annual Tips For Avoiding The Holiday Fight
Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'?
At The Women's Expo

Back In The Same Place
Back Off, Buddy
Bad Breaks
Being Patient
Blog, Blog, Blog
Broke up

California Dreaming
Changing My Mind
Clearing It Up
Cooking Help
Confused and Angry
Consumed By The Internet
Crying All The Time
Dating Again
Falling Short
Family Friction
Friend, With Benefits
Friendly Secret
Gift-Giving Season
Go to Funeral?
Hunting Season
In Love and Confused
It's the most "beautiful" time of the year...
Keeping Things Secret
Just Sex
Lying, But Not Cheating
Might Get Married
Move Back Home?
My Boyfriend's Computer
My Roommate's Family
Mutual Intrigue
Needs Support
Newly Single Mother
No Explanation
Nosy Neighbors
Nothing Happened
Oh, Grow Up

On Her Way To 'Trouble'

Our Pal Al
Pretty Tight
Publicity Stunt?
Quiet, Please
RSVP, Please
Ruthie's Secret
Should I Stick or Should I Run
Should I Tell Him
Shy Girl
Splitting and Sharing
Stuck In A Sticky Situation
Sucky Gifts
Taking advantage
The Boyfriend & The Friend
The Difficult Coworker
The Letter
The Pain In Spain
The Sad Bride
The Ultimatum
Two Men At The Same Time
Vacation, Not

Why would anyone stay?