January 4, 2007


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Pinings: Scroogey
by Sherry Hughes sah103@hotmail.com

Dear Pinings,

I hate the holidays and am glad they are over. Itís really hard to get people to understand this. They always try to get me to buy a tree, go to parties and celebrate with them. Iíve never liked this false sense that everything is alright and peachy just because itís Christmas or New Yearís. I donít want to put a damper on their celebrations, but for me, itís just awful.

I donít have any big thing in my past that makes me dislike them, I just donít like fake stuff. I swear, someone could die on Dec. 24 and the very next day, everyone in that personís life would insist on celebrating anyway.

How do I explain to people that I donít need to change, Iím fine the way I am?
Not really a Scrooge

Dear Not,

As much as you say you have ďnothing in your pastĒ that makes you dislike this time of year, I bet that isnít really true. Iím not saying it was traumatic or dramatic but thereís something that happened somewhere down the line that makes you dislike the celebrations ... either you donít appreciate the social aspects or you donít relate to the religious aspects or you have experienced some kind of falseness that touched you, negatively, in a profound way.

Regardless, you are entitled to feel the way you do. And others are entitled to observe Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa or Ramadan in ways that work for them.

My best advice is to accept that much of your world is changed during the months of November and December. Itís not the way youíd like it, but you are sort of swimming upstream here. You canít change it, but you can live with it. If asked about a tree or decorations, just say, ďIím not really going to do that this year. But Iím happy itís something you enjoy,Ē and leave it at that.

And you neednít explain why to anyone.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at sah103@hotmail.com

Comments?†Thoughts? Discuss this article and more at hippoflea.com

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A Few Words From Sherry

A LIttle Joy, A Little Heartbreak
Abusive Relationship
Abusive Relationships
Advice to young mother
Annual Tips For Avoiding The Holiday Fight
Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'?
At The Women's Expo

Back In The Same Place
Back Off, Buddy
Bad Breaks
Being Patient
Blog, Blog, Blog
Broke up

California Dreaming
Changing My Mind
Clearing It Up
Cooking Help
Confused and Angry
Consumed By The Internet
Crying All The Time
Dating Again
Falling Short
Family Friction
Friend, With Benefits
Friendly Secret
Gift-Giving Season
Go to Funeral?
Hunting Season
In Love and Confused
It's the most "beautiful" time of the year...
Keeping Things Secret
Just Sex
Lying, But Not Cheating
Might Get Married
Move Back Home?
My Boyfriend's Computer
My Roommate's Family
Mutual Intrigue
Needs Support
Newly Single Mother
No Explanation
Nosy Neighbors
Nothing Happened
Oh, Grow Up

On Her Way To 'Trouble'

Our Pal Al
Pretty Tight
Publicity Stunt?
Quiet, Please
RSVP, Please
Ruthie's Secret
Should I Stick or Should I Run
Should I Tell Him
Shy Girl
Splitting and Sharing
Stuck In A Sticky Situation
Sucky Gifts
Taking advantage
The Boyfriend & The Friend
The Difficult Coworker
The Letter
The Pain In Spain
The Sad Bride
The Ultimatum
Two Men At The Same Time
Vacation, Not

Why would anyone stay?