December 28, 2006

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Manchester Publisher's Note: In the year 2007
By Jody Reese

Last year about this time I tried my hand at predicting the future. It’s clear no one will be lining up outside my tent asking for premonitions, but I did get a few predictions for 2006 right.

Mayor Frank Guinta did move to the North End. Omega was closed, but no club called Alpha opened. City Hall Plaza was not bought by Brady Sullivan and renamed Brady Sullivan Plaza, but the Brady Sullivan team did buy Hampshire Plaza and renamed it Brady Sullivan Plaza. I correctly predicted that Keith Hirschmann would lose his state House seat and was kinda correct about him opening a bar, though not with Joe Kelly Levasseur and not called the Glass House. However, I was dead wrong when it came to myself. I didn’t lose any weight for 2006 nor did I take up golf. There’s always 2007.

So what about 2007?

For starters I hope 2007 is a better year than 2006 for Manchester. With the crime spree last spring and summer and the murder of Officer Michael Briggs, 2006 was a rough year for the entire city. It seemed to me anyway that many of the good things going on in the city slowed a bit in 2006. Hippo’s own QOL went down 17 points, not a scientific measure by any stretch, but nor is that a good sign.

Predictions for 2007

1. The Jac Pac land will be sold to WMUR. With the money they make from the presidential primary, they’ll build a TV news theme park and give all the reporters Mercedes.

2. Without Ray Buckley heading the Manchester Democrats, the Democrats will lose two aldermen seats, likely Hank Thibault’s and one of the at-large seats (because one of the current at-large aldermen will run for mayor against Guinta).

3. Manchester will get a stand-alone Starbucks.

4. The city will sell the naming rights to City Hall and it will be bought by bobbaines.com. Joe Kelley Levasseur sues.

5. Ward 5 Alderman Ed Osborne comes up with a new sign that says, “break our laws and Charles Bronson will kill you.”

6. WGIR-FM changes format to the “music of our lives,” and quickly discovers gold in senior advertising.

7. Ma and Pa’s Kitchen get the contract to supply the state women’s prison in Goffstown with pizza and the inmates love it. However, jail officials complain about finding files in some of the pies.

8. InTown Manchester mistakenly invites Iron Maiden to the summer concert series thinking the band is actually Ironing Maids, a Celtic band that dresses up like Victorian-era maids.

9. Adam Sandler stars in a new adaptation of Peyton Place that is filmed in the Millyard. Sarah Silverman costars as the most Jewish Constance “Connie” MacKenzie ever.

10. After hearing one too many complaints about the new pay-and-display parking meters, Guinta loses it and removes several of them with a chain saw. His punishment? Night in the box..