November 9, 2006

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Pinings: BYO-BFF
by Sherry Hughes sah103@hotmail.com

Dear Sherry,
Two of my friends started dating each other a couple of months ago. Iíve been friends with the guy, who Iíll call Guy, longer than the girl, who Iíll call Girl. Guy has had periodic problems with alcoholism. He stops drinking for a while, but has never managed to stay sober for more than 6 months at a time. Heís truly a wonderful man, but he is also caught up in addiction. I donít even answer the phone when he calls if heís drinking (I check my caller ID) because I canít deal with him. He gets drunk and starts ranting and there is no talking to him.

I told Girl about this issue of Guyís Öwhich felt like the right thing to do. I donít know if she didnít believe me or what, but a couple of weeks into their relationship, she came to me and said, ďheís not just an alcoholic, heís a horrible drunk!Ē Clearly, she didnít know what I meant when I talked to her. Now she isnít sure she wants to continue dating him. She has asked me a couple of times what she should to and when he might stop.

What should I tell her?
Anna

Dear Anna,
I think you should stay out of it. She was warned about Guyís issue and made a decision to give him a chance regardless. Now sheís in the muck and looking for someone to tell her how to get out. But you might be the recipient of some resentment if she, for example, decides to break things off with him on your advice and then he gets sober.

You did the right thing by telling her, the other decisions are on her.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at sah103@hotmail.com


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08/03/2006 Bridezillas
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06/01/2006 Itsy bitsy
05/25/2006 Lovey dovey couple
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03/30/2006 Disagreements
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03/02/2006 Compatability?
02/23/2006 A rock and a hard place
02/16/2006 A whole-hearted agreement
02/09/2006 Growing apart
01/26/2006 Tuning out?
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01/05/2006 Sex isn't everything?
A Few Words From Sherry

A LIttle Joy, A Little Heartbreak
Abusive Relationship
Abusive Relationships
Advice to young mother
Annual Tips For Avoiding The Holiday Fight
Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'?
At The Women's Expo

Back In The Same Place
Back Off, Buddy
Bad Breaks
Being Patient
Blog, Blog, Blog
Broke up

California Dreaming
Changing My Mind
Clearing It Up
Cooking Help
Confused and Angry
Consumed By The Internet
Crying All The Time
Dating Again
Ex-Cooperation
Falling Short
Family Friction
Friend, With Benefits
Friends
Friendly Secret
Gift-Giving Season
Go to Funeral?
Homesick
Hunting Season
In Love and Confused
It's the most "beautiful" time of the year...
Keeping Things Secret
Just Sex
Lying, But Not Cheating
Might Get Married
Move Back Home?
My Boyfriend's Computer
My Roommate's Family
Mutual Intrigue
Needs Support
Newly Single Mother
No Explanation
Nosy Neighbors
Nothing Happened
Oh, Grow Up

On Her Way To 'Trouble'

Our Pal Al
Pretty Tight
Publicity Stunt?
Quiet, Please
RSVP, Please
Ruthie's Secret
Should I Stick or Should I Run
Should I Tell Him
Shy Girl
Splitting and Sharing
Stuck In A Sticky Situation
Sucky Gifts
Taking advantage
The Boyfriend & The Friend
The Difficult Coworker
The Letter
The Pain In Spain
The Sad Bride
The Ultimatum
Two Men At The Same Time
Vacation, Not

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