by Sherry Hughes email@example.com
Two of my friends started dating each other a couple of months ago. Iíve been friends with the guy, who Iíll call Guy, longer than the girl, who Iíll call Girl. Guy has had periodic problems with alcoholism. He stops drinking for a while, but has never managed to stay sober for more than 6 months at a time. Heís truly a wonderful man, but he is also caught up in addiction. I donít even answer the phone when he calls if heís drinking (I check my caller ID) because I canít deal with him. He gets drunk and starts ranting and there is no talking to him.
I told Girl about this issue of Guyís Öwhich felt like the right thing to do. I donít know if she didnít believe me or what, but a couple of weeks into their relationship, she came to me and said, ďheís not just an alcoholic, heís a horrible drunk!Ē Clearly, she didnít know what I meant when I talked to her. Now she isnít sure she wants to continue dating him. She has asked me a couple of times what she should to and when he might stop.
What should I tell her?
I think you should stay out of it. She was warned about Guyís issue and made a decision to give him a chance regardless. Now sheís in the muck and looking for someone to tell her how to get out. But you might be the recipient of some resentment if she, for example, decides to break things off with him on your advice and then he gets sober.
You did the right thing by telling her, the other decisions are on her.
Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at firstname.lastname@example.org
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