September 28, 2006


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Pinings: Cheaters, the best reality show ever
by Sherry Hughes

Dear Pinings,
I saw a show on TV the other day about cheating, what was cheating and what wasnít. If you went by what the audience said, weíve probably all cheated. Some of the people on the panel had different kinds of rules in relationships and if you followed the rules, you are okay.

Iíd like to think that my boyfriend and I are beyond rules. I trust him and he trusts me. I feel like this: Iím not his mother. Iím not going to police his actions. If he goes to a strip club and gets a lap dance, more power to him. Weíve been together for seven years Ö and to be honest, our sex life can get pretty boring sometimes. If he wants to flirt or dance with someone in a club, I donít care. I care that he comes home to me.

What Iím getting at is that I sometimes have sexy conversations via the Internet with men I meet in chat rooms or on Web sites. I donít really feel as if this is cheating. Itís just a way to be flirty and sexy and I donít think Iím hurting anyone. Thereís never any emotional attachment and I never know who these people are. Iíd never, ever consider meeting any of them in person or even talking on the phone.

Is this cheating?

Dear Angie,
Iím glad you have a trusting, loving relationship with your boyfriend. And Iím glad that you are honest enough to admit that monogamy can get stale sometimes but that you are still committed to it.

That being said, you leave out a crucial part of your letter. Does your boyfriend know about these chats? Just as he is honest with you about what he is doing, the same applies for you, I would think.

My opinion is that if, in the fabric of your relationship, you agree to be honest about these things and you arenít being honest, itís cheating. If he knows all about it, then itís just a part of your life.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at

Comments?†Thoughts? Discuss this article and more at

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A Few Words From Sherry

A LIttle Joy, A Little Heartbreak
Abusive Relationship
Abusive Relationships
Advice to young mother
Annual Tips For Avoiding The Holiday Fight
Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'?
At The Women's Expo

Back In The Same Place
Back Off, Buddy
Bad Breaks
Being Patient
Blog, Blog, Blog
Broke up

California Dreaming
Changing My Mind
Clearing It Up
Cooking Help
Confused and Angry
Consumed By The Internet
Crying All The Time
Dating Again
Falling Short
Family Friction
Friend, With Benefits
Friendly Secret
Gift-Giving Season
Go to Funeral?
Hunting Season
In Love and Confused
It's the most "beautiful" time of the year...
Keeping Things Secret
Just Sex
Lying, But Not Cheating
Might Get Married
Move Back Home?
My Boyfriend's Computer
My Roommate's Family
Mutual Intrigue
Needs Support
Newly Single Mother
No Explanation
Nosy Neighbors
Nothing Happened
Oh, Grow Up

On Her Way To 'Trouble'

Our Pal Al
Pretty Tight
Publicity Stunt?
Quiet, Please
RSVP, Please
Ruthie's Secret
Should I Stick or Should I Run
Should I Tell Him
Shy Girl
Splitting and Sharing
Stuck In A Sticky Situation
Sucky Gifts
Taking advantage
The Boyfriend & The Friend
The Difficult Coworker
The Letter
The Pain In Spain
The Sad Bride
The Ultimatum
Two Men At The Same Time
Vacation, Not

Why would anyone stay?