September 28, 2006

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Pinings: Cheaters, the best reality show ever
by Sherry Hughes sah103@hotmail.com

Dear Pinings,
I saw a show on TV the other day about cheating, what was cheating and what wasnít. If you went by what the audience said, weíve probably all cheated. Some of the people on the panel had different kinds of rules in relationships and if you followed the rules, you are okay.

Iíd like to think that my boyfriend and I are beyond rules. I trust him and he trusts me. I feel like this: Iím not his mother. Iím not going to police his actions. If he goes to a strip club and gets a lap dance, more power to him. Weíve been together for seven years Ö and to be honest, our sex life can get pretty boring sometimes. If he wants to flirt or dance with someone in a club, I donít care. I care that he comes home to me.

What Iím getting at is that I sometimes have sexy conversations via the Internet with men I meet in chat rooms or on Web sites. I donít really feel as if this is cheating. Itís just a way to be flirty and sexy and I donít think Iím hurting anyone. Thereís never any emotional attachment and I never know who these people are. Iíd never, ever consider meeting any of them in person or even talking on the phone.

Is this cheating?
Angie

Dear Angie,
Iím glad you have a trusting, loving relationship with your boyfriend. And Iím glad that you are honest enough to admit that monogamy can get stale sometimes but that you are still committed to it.

That being said, you leave out a crucial part of your letter. Does your boyfriend know about these chats? Just as he is honest with you about what he is doing, the same applies for you, I would think.

My opinion is that if, in the fabric of your relationship, you agree to be honest about these things and you arenít being honest, itís cheating. If he knows all about it, then itís just a part of your life.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at sah103@hotmail.com


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Friend, With Benefits
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