Pinings: Act the part
by Sherry Hughes email@example.com
Forever, my mother has been after me to settle down, get married and have babies. She wasnít terrible about it when I was in college, even though she saw it as unnecessary. I just got an opportunity to rent a ski house in a really nice area with a few women. The only hitch is that these women are all gay. Iím not gay, but I donít really care if they are, they are nice people and itís really a good deal in terms of money and all of that.
Iím afraid to tell my mother. I know that sounds silly, but truly, I will hear nothing but this subject until the end of winter. And then Iíll hear about how I shouldnít do it next year. I donít think she is a bigot, but she would tell me it was a waste of time to hang around women for weekends when I could be out meeting men.
I donít want to lie to her. But I donít want to tell her either.
You donít say how old you are but clearly you are old enough to graduate from college and rent part of a ski house so you arenít a youngster. You have several choices. You can tell her that you are renting the place and leave it at that Ė donít tell her who the women are or their sexual preference. You could not tell her about it at all. You could tell her the truth Ö just imagine that. You could also tell her, in a gentle, loving way that you are a grown-up and capable of making these decisions for yourself.
When she brings up the subject, simply refuse to discuss it with her. You can walk away, change the subject, hang up the phone (after saying goodbye, I love you, not talking about this). The point is, if you want to be treated like a grown-up, you need to start acting like one. Worrying about what your mother might say/do/think/project is the way we behave when we are children. Iím not saying you shouldnít care about your parentís feelings, but those feelings shouldnít dictate your decision-making process.
Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at firstname.lastname@example.org
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