August 10, 2006

 Navigation

   Home Page

 News & Features

   News

 Columns & Opinions

   Publisher's Note

   Boomers

   Pinings

   Longshots

   Techie

 Pop Culture

   Film

   TV

   Books
   Video Games
   CD Reviews

 Living

   Food

   Wine

   Beer
   Grazing Guide

 Music

   Articles

   Music Roundup

   Live Music/DJs

   MP3 & Podcasts

   Bandmates

 Arts

   Theater

   Art

 Find A Hippo

   Manchester

   Nashua

 Classifieds

   View Classified Ads

   Place a Classified Ad

 Advertising

   Advertising

   Rates

 Contact Us

   Hippo Staff

   How to Reach The Hippo

 Past Issues

   Browse by Cover


Pinings: Counsel-ation prizes
by Sherry Hughes sah103@hotmail.com

Dear Sherry,
I really need some help. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about eight monthsÖbut we just broke up. I think she is trying to change me. I am this kind of guy: I donít take nothing off of nobody. I mind my business. I donít go places where Iím not invited. On Friday nights Iím tired and want to just relax. She seems to feel as if we always have to be doing something.

Now she wants me to go to counseling and she says if I do that, she may want to get together with me in the future.

I donít think I need counseling. If she doesnít like me the way I am, arenít I better off without her?
Richard

Dear Richard,
Well, you havenít given me any indication of why she wants you to go to counseling, but the rule of thumb on this one is if you genuinely feel as if you may benefit from counseling and have a clear goal in mind (grieving, anger, jealousy, substance abuse, etc.) then by all means, go. If itís just sort of a ďyouíve got issuesĒ kind of thing, well, it seems that it would be a waste of time to go into counseling without knowing why you are there.

Your girlfriend may very well want you to change, but she also may want for things to be better than they are. Do you have common goals and dreams? Do you have activities in common? If you like to stay home on a Friday night and relax, thatís what you should do. But occasionally, she may want you to go somewhere with her, and it makes sense for you to be flexible and go with her.

Relationships are always about compromise; some couples have to do it a lot, others just jibe more. If the two of you are often at odds about how to spend your leisure time, it may be time to think about moving on.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at sah103@hotmail.com


Comments?†Thoughts? Discuss this article and more at hippoflea.com



08/03/2006 Bridezillas
07/27/2006 Office space
07/20/2006 Dream a little dream
07/13/2006 Hanging on the telephone
06/29/2006 Lets get it on
06/22/2006 A dubious proposition
06/15/2006 Fighting Fair
06/08/2006 Dogged by guilt
06/01/2006 Itsy bitsy
05/25/2006 Lovey dovey couple
05/18/2006 Simple questions
05/11/2006 My racist friend
05/04/2006 Secret nostalgia
04/27/2006 Making connections
04/20/2006 Live a little
04/13/2006 Live a little
04/06/2006 Torn
03/30/2006 Disagreements
03/23/2006 The simple life
03/16/2006 I thought it was love
03/09/2006 Alone but not lonely
03/02/2006 Compatability?
02/23/2006 A rock and a hard place
02/16/2006 A whole-hearted agreement
02/09/2006 Growing apart
01/26/2006 Tuning out?
01/12/2006 Under pressure
01/05/2006 Sex isn't everything?
A Few Words From Sherry

A LIttle Joy, A Little Heartbreak
Abusive Relationship
Abusive Relationships
Advice to young mother
Annual Tips For Avoiding The Holiday Fight
Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'?
At The Women's Expo

Back In The Same Place
Back Off, Buddy
Bad Breaks
Being Patient
Blog, Blog, Blog
Broke up

California Dreaming
Changing My Mind
Clearing It Up
Cooking Help
Confused and Angry
Consumed By The Internet
Crying All The Time
Dating Again
Ex-Cooperation
Falling Short
Family Friction
Friend, With Benefits
Friends
Friendly Secret
Gift-Giving Season
Go to Funeral?
Homesick
Hunting Season
In Love and Confused
It's the most "beautiful" time of the year...
Keeping Things Secret
Just Sex
Lying, But Not Cheating
Might Get Married
Move Back Home?
My Boyfriend's Computer
My Roommate's Family
Mutual Intrigue
Needs Support
Newly Single Mother
No Explanation
Nosy Neighbors
Nothing Happened
Oh, Grow Up

On Her Way To 'Trouble'

Our Pal Al
Pretty Tight
Publicity Stunt?
Quiet, Please
RSVP, Please
Ruthie's Secret
Should I Stick or Should I Run
Should I Tell Him
Shy Girl
Splitting and Sharing
Stuck In A Sticky Situation
Sucky Gifts
Taking advantage
The Boyfriend & The Friend
The Difficult Coworker
The Letter
The Pain In Spain
The Sad Bride
The Ultimatum
Two Men At The Same Time
Vacation, Not

Why would anyone stay?