by Sherry Hughes email@example.com
I have really reached the end of my rope. Yesterday, my favorite cousin told me I was no longer invited to be in her wedding. I can still go to the wedding, but Iím no longer a bridesmaid. The reason we got into a fight is over finances. She asked me to stand up for her a year ago. I bought the dress, the shoes and the jewelry she wants us all to wear. She also told us that we have to pay for our hair styling and our makeup that day (she wants us all to have our makeup, hair and nails professionally done.) Even though I think thatís asking a lot (one of the women is a single mother and Iím a student, working part time) I understand that itís her wedding and she has an idea about the way she wants things, but still, itís really a hardship on some of us. The last straw was when she insisted that we all stay at the hotel the night of the wedding so that she can ďpartyĒ and so that none of us will be late for the limo (if we are all in the same place.)
I live 10 minutes away. Iím not interested in paying for a hotel and spending the night just to be at her beck and call. She thought I was being selfish. She also said I was disrespecting her by saying no to the hotel room.
In addition to all of the money Iíve already shelled out, Iíll have to buy her a shower gift and a wedding gift on top of it all.
Am I off my nut?
No. You are creating a boundary to make sure you donít get walked on. And people who donít understand why boundaries in life are important are usually the ones doing the walking all over others.
You are probably lucky things are moving in this direction. If itís this chaotic now, imagine what the week of the wedding will be like.
As for the dress and shoes, hopefully, sheíll be able to get someone else to wear them. You know, some little minion she finds to do her bidding.
Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at firstname.lastname@example.org
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