June 22, 2006


   Home Page

 News & Features


 Columns & Opinions

   Publisher's Note





 Pop Culture



   Video Games
   CD Reviews




   Grazing Guide



   Music Roundup

   Live Music/DJs

   MP3 & Podcasts





 Find A Hippo




   View Classified Ads

   Place a Classified Ad




 Contact Us

   Hippo Staff

   How to Reach The Hippo

 Past Issues

   Browse by Cover

Pinings: A dubious proposition
by Sherry Hughes sah103@hotmail.com

Dear Sherry,
I was having dinner last weekend with my boyfriend, my mom and dad and my sister and her husband. I noticed that my brother in-law was being kind of quiet. Heís normally a lot of fun. When I asked my sister about it later she said the two of them were separating and heís pretty down about it. She is not, sheís happier than Iíve ever seen her. I guess she feels that they married too young and she needs some ďspace.Ē

It makes me sad that they are divorcing, but what she told me next was downright disturbing: They are going to continue to live together as roommates. She said they didnít want to sell their house, which they both love, and they figured they could make things work out.

I didnít ask about sleeping arrangements Öbut they do have an extra bedroom.

Is it me or is this just bizarre? I predict big trouble in the future and Iím not sure they have really thought this through.

Have you ever heard of people doing that?


Dear Maura,
Clearly you donít know any lesbians. For a variety of reasons, this is something Iíve seen over and over again in the lesbian community. Iíve been told that itís about trust and intimacy; that people who are gay arenít able to bond with everyone they meet, so when they do bond with someone, they tend to keep them close at hand, even after a difficult break-up. Personally, Iím old-school on this. If you treated me badly when we were together, why do I want to be friends with you? Live with you? Forget it.

Maybe this sounds like a feasible plan for your sister for right now. Maybe they donít want to be any more traumatized than they are right now. Maybe itíll work.

Do your best to be loving and supportive, even if you donít agree or understand their decisions. And look at it this way: It could be a whole lot worse..

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at sah103@hotmail.com

Comments?†Thoughts? Discuss this article and more at hippoflea.com

06/15/2006 Fighting Fair
06/08/2006 Dogged by guilt
06/01/2006 Itsy bitsy
05/25/2006 Lovey dovey couple
05/18/2006 Simple questions
05/11/2006 My racist friend
05/04/2006 Secret nostalgia
04/27/2006 Making connections
04/20/2006 Live a little
04/13/2006 Live a little
04/06/2006 Torn
03/30/2006 Disagreements
03/23/2006 The simple life
03/16/2006 I thought it was love
03/09/2006 Alone but not lonely
03/02/2006 Compatability?
02/23/2006 A rock and a hard place
02/16/2006 A whole-hearted agreement
02/09/2006 Growing apart
01/26/2006 Tuning out?
01/12/2006 Under pressure
01/05/2006 Sex isn't everything?
A Few Words From Sherry

A LIttle Joy, A Little Heartbreak
Abusive Relationship
Abusive Relationships
Advice to young mother
Annual Tips For Avoiding The Holiday Fight
Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'?
At The Women's Expo

Back In The Same Place
Back Off, Buddy
Bad Breaks
Being Patient
Blog, Blog, Blog
Broke up

California Dreaming
Changing My Mind
Clearing It Up
Cooking Help
Confused and Angry
Consumed By The Internet
Crying All The Time
Dating Again
Falling Short
Family Friction
Friend, With Benefits
Friendly Secret
Gift-Giving Season
Go to Funeral?
Hunting Season
In Love and Confused
It's the most "beautiful" time of the year...
Keeping Things Secret
Just Sex
Lying, But Not Cheating
Might Get Married
Move Back Home?
My Boyfriend's Computer
My Roommate's Family
Mutual Intrigue
Needs Support
Newly Single Mother
No Explanation
Nosy Neighbors
Nothing Happened
Oh, Grow Up

On Her Way To 'Trouble'

Our Pal Al
Pretty Tight
Publicity Stunt?
Quiet, Please
RSVP, Please
Ruthie's Secret
Should I Stick or Should I Run
Should I Tell Him
Shy Girl
Splitting and Sharing
Stuck In A Sticky Situation
Sucky Gifts
Taking advantage
The Boyfriend & The Friend
The Difficult Coworker
The Letter
The Pain In Spain
The Sad Bride
The Ultimatum
Two Men At The Same Time
Vacation, Not

Why would anyone stay?