Pinings: A dubious proposition
by Sherry Hughes email@example.com
I was having dinner last weekend with my boyfriend, my mom and dad and my sister and her husband. I noticed that my brother in-law was being kind of quiet. Heís normally a lot of fun. When I asked my sister about it later she said the two of them were separating and heís pretty down about it. She is not, sheís happier than Iíve ever seen her. I guess she feels that they married too young and she needs some ďspace.Ē
It makes me sad that they are divorcing, but what she told me next was downright disturbing: They are going to continue to live together as roommates. She said they didnít want to sell their house, which they both love, and they figured they could make things work out.
I didnít ask about sleeping arrangements Öbut they do have an extra bedroom.
Is it me or is this just bizarre? I predict big trouble in the future and Iím not sure they have really thought this through.
Have you ever heard of people doing that?
Clearly you donít know any lesbians. For a variety of reasons, this is something Iíve seen over and over again in the lesbian community. Iíve been told that itís about trust and intimacy; that people who are gay arenít able to bond with everyone they meet, so when they do bond with someone, they tend to keep them close at hand, even after a difficult break-up. Personally, Iím old-school on this. If you treated me badly when we were together, why do I want to be friends with you? Live with you? Forget it.
Maybe this sounds like a feasible plan for your sister for right now. Maybe they donít want to be any more traumatized than they are right now. Maybe itíll work.
Do your best to be loving and supportive, even if you donít agree or understand their decisions. And look at it this way: It could be a whole lot worse..
Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at firstname.lastname@example.org
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