May 25, 2006


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Pinings: Lovey dovey couple
by Sherry Hughes

I received a letter from a woman who didnít want her name used. She didnít actually want her letter used either; she just wanted me to discuss her problem. Itís a problem some of us have had in the past and even though itís not life-changing or deathly, itís, well, challenging.

The problem is PDA, public displays of affection. This woman is not a touchy-feeling kind of gal. She is passionate, she says, and loves everything about her physical relationship with her lover. He, however, wants to kiss and hug her, hold her hand and put his hands on her whenever they are together, which includes when they are out in public. She is embarrassed by his Ö clutches, as she calls them, and he is hurt when she shrugs him off or pushes him away.

They are at an impasse with the issue and donít quite know how to resolve it. She loves him dearly and, as I mentioned, is hot for him in every way. He, however, feels as if she is ashamed to show her love for him.

I went out with someone once who was a horrible kisser. There was way too much tongue and spit going on and, well, there was nothing romantic about it. I found myself avoiding the kisses. And yes, I was in love with this person.

Rather than create any animosity, I decided to look at the situation as a learning experience Ö for both of us.

Our reader should do the same. She can learn how to be a bit more accepting of public affection and he can learn how to be a little less aggressive about it. And I donít think he is aggressive at all, heís just being himself.

They should look at this as an opportunity to compromise. If they intend to stay a couple, theyíll need to learn this tool and use it frequently anyway.

They can go out and maybe just hold hands on the way to the car. Perhaps she can sneak a kiss on the cheek to him when she gets up to go use the restroom at dinner. Or they could go to a movie and make out during the credits at the end only.

This shouldnít be an all-or-nothing situation. Itís always best to find a win/win situation if possible..

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at

Comments?†Thoughts? Discuss this article and more at

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A Few Words From Sherry

A LIttle Joy, A Little Heartbreak
Abusive Relationship
Abusive Relationships
Advice to young mother
Annual Tips For Avoiding The Holiday Fight
Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'?
At The Women's Expo

Back In The Same Place
Back Off, Buddy
Bad Breaks
Being Patient
Blog, Blog, Blog
Broke up

California Dreaming
Changing My Mind
Clearing It Up
Cooking Help
Confused and Angry
Consumed By The Internet
Crying All The Time
Dating Again
Falling Short
Family Friction
Friend, With Benefits
Friendly Secret
Gift-Giving Season
Go to Funeral?
Hunting Season
In Love and Confused
It's the most "beautiful" time of the year...
Keeping Things Secret
Just Sex
Lying, But Not Cheating
Might Get Married
Move Back Home?
My Boyfriend's Computer
My Roommate's Family
Mutual Intrigue
Needs Support
Newly Single Mother
No Explanation
Nosy Neighbors
Nothing Happened
Oh, Grow Up

On Her Way To 'Trouble'

Our Pal Al
Pretty Tight
Publicity Stunt?
Quiet, Please
RSVP, Please
Ruthie's Secret
Should I Stick or Should I Run
Should I Tell Him
Shy Girl
Splitting and Sharing
Stuck In A Sticky Situation
Sucky Gifts
Taking advantage
The Boyfriend & The Friend
The Difficult Coworker
The Letter
The Pain In Spain
The Sad Bride
The Ultimatum
Two Men At The Same Time
Vacation, Not

Why would anyone stay?