May 4, 2006


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Pinings: Secret nostalgia
by Sherry Hughes

Dear Sherry,
A few months ago, I got a letter (email) from an old boyfriend. He wanted to get together for a drink and talk about old times. We were dating for about a year a long time ago …about six years ago. He is dating someone else, and was just interested in being friends.

I said yes initially, but then he told me that I couldn’t tell anyone because his girlfriend is very jealous. He actually wanted to meet up at my house rather than a public place. I said absolutely not and that if he wanted to have a drink, we would need to do it at a restaurant or bar, regardless of what his girlfriend might think. I haven’t heard from him again.

What do you think of this?

Dear Sammie,
I think your ex wanted more than just a drink. I also think you are better off not being in touch with him.

I really believe that if something feels like a secret, it is. And if someone is keeping a secret from a partner (unless it has to do with a birthday or other gift-giving occasion), I’d wonder why that is.

I don’t have the perfect relationship – no one does – but I know what not to do, and the big one is to not lie.

If your ex wants to have drinks in a public place, great. Ask him if your beau can come along and then see what he says.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at

Comments? Thoughts? Discuss this article and more at

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04/13/2006 Live a little
04/06/2006 Torn
03/30/2006 Disagreements
03/23/2006 The simple life
03/16/2006 I thought it was love
03/09/2006 Alone but not lonely
03/02/2006 Compatability?
02/23/2006 A rock and a hard place
02/16/2006 A whole-hearted agreement
02/09/2006 Growing apart
01/26/2006 Tuning out?
01/12/2006 Under pressure
01/05/2006 Sex isn't everything?
A Few Words From Sherry

A LIttle Joy, A Little Heartbreak
Abusive Relationship
Abusive Relationships
Advice to young mother
Annual Tips For Avoiding The Holiday Fight
Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'?
At The Women's Expo

Back In The Same Place
Back Off, Buddy
Bad Breaks
Being Patient
Blog, Blog, Blog
Broke up

California Dreaming
Changing My Mind
Clearing It Up
Cooking Help
Confused and Angry
Consumed By The Internet
Crying All The Time
Dating Again
Falling Short
Family Friction
Friend, With Benefits
Friendly Secret
Gift-Giving Season
Go to Funeral?
Hunting Season
In Love and Confused
It's the most "beautiful" time of the year...
Keeping Things Secret
Just Sex
Lying, But Not Cheating
Might Get Married
Move Back Home?
My Boyfriend's Computer
My Roommate's Family
Mutual Intrigue
Needs Support
Newly Single Mother
No Explanation
Nosy Neighbors
Nothing Happened
Oh, Grow Up

On Her Way To 'Trouble'

Our Pal Al
Pretty Tight
Publicity Stunt?
Quiet, Please
RSVP, Please
Ruthie's Secret
Should I Stick or Should I Run
Should I Tell Him
Shy Girl
Splitting and Sharing
Stuck In A Sticky Situation
Sucky Gifts
Taking advantage
The Boyfriend & The Friend
The Difficult Coworker
The Letter
The Pain In Spain
The Sad Bride
The Ultimatum
Two Men At The Same Time
Vacation, Not

Why would anyone stay?