April 6, 2006

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Pinings: Torn
by Sherry Hughes sah103@hotmail.com

Dear Sherry,
Iím in love with two men. Stu has been my boyfriend for 9 years. We met our junior year in high school. He knows me better than anyone. We have a little boy who is 3. Stu is a good father and a really nice guy.
I met Greg at work. He is handsome and sexy and I donít know how it happened, but we just started spending more and more time together. We havenít done anything wrong, but I donít know how much longer I can hold out. Stu would be crushed if he knew I felt this way. He has noticed that Iíve been preoccupied lately and wants to know whatís wrong.

I feel as if maybe I settled down with Stu too soon and that I havenít lived enough. I know Greg feels the same way about me that I feel about him ó and he would love for us to have a future together.

I donít know what to do.
Torn

Dear Torn,
Iím a big believer in finishing one thing before you start another. You say you havenít done anything wrong, but I wonder if you would feel OK if Stu was having a relationship with a woman like the one you are having with Greg. The truth is, you are being emotionally unfaithful. And you are being dishonest about it too.

I donít know how valuable my advice will be, but what I think you should do is work on the relationship you are in. See if you can rekindle the flame you once had with Stu. He is the father of your child and from all you tell me, a great guy. Greg is what we think of as the ďgreener pastureĒ Öand the truth of the matter is that the grass is rarely greener, we just think (and hope) it is.

You might also consider some therapy, just go help you get through what is undoubtedly a difficult time. .

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at sah103@hotmail.com


Comments?†Thoughts? Discuss this article and more at hippoflea.com



03/30/2006 Disagreements
03/23/2006 The simple life
03/16/2006 I thought it was love
03/09/2006 Alone but not lonely
03/02/2006 Compatability?
02/23/2006 A rock and a hard place
02/16/2006 A whole-hearted agreement
02/09/2006 Growing apart
01/26/2006 Tuning out?
01/12/2006 Under pressure
01/05/2006 Sex isn't everything?
A Few Words From Sherry

A LIttle Joy, A Little Heartbreak
Abusive Relationship
Abusive Relationships
Advice to young mother
Annual Tips For Avoiding The Holiday Fight
Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'?
At The Women's Expo

Back In The Same Place
Back Off, Buddy
Bad Breaks
Being Patient
Blog, Blog, Blog
Broke up

California Dreaming
Changing My Mind
Clearing It Up
Cooking Help
Confused and Angry
Consumed By The Internet
Crying All The Time
Dating Again
Ex-Cooperation
Falling Short
Family Friction
Friend, With Benefits
Friends
Friendly Secret
Gift-Giving Season
Go to Funeral?
Homesick
Hunting Season
In Love and Confused
It's the most "beautiful" time of the year...
Keeping Things Secret
Just Sex
Lying, But Not Cheating
Might Get Married
Move Back Home?
My Boyfriend's Computer
My Roommate's Family
Mutual Intrigue
Needs Support
Newly Single Mother
No Explanation
Nosy Neighbors
Nothing Happened
Oh, Grow Up

On Her Way To 'Trouble'

Our Pal Al
Pretty Tight
Publicity Stunt?
Quiet, Please
RSVP, Please
Ruthie's Secret
Should I Stick or Should I Run
Should I Tell Him
Shy Girl
Splitting and Sharing
Stuck In A Sticky Situation
Sucky Gifts
Taking advantage
The Boyfriend & The Friend
The Difficult Coworker
The Letter
The Pain In Spain
The Sad Bride
The Ultimatum
Two Men At The Same Time
Vacation, Not

Why would anyone stay?