March 16, 2006

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Pinings: I thought it was love
by Sherry Hughes

Dear Pinings,
In the last year, I’ve been with a lot of different guys. I really thought at the time that I loved each one of them. I know now that I was just getting used for sex and that men say anything they can to get what they want. I’ve now met Jason and I think he’s different from the rest. He’s very respectful and has taken me to meet his parents. We are getting serious and I want to know if I should tell him about the guys I’ve been with. I want him to be honest with me. So, do I get this out in the open now or wait until later?

Jason says he’s not a “player” and hasn’t dated that much. I’m afraid he’ll run away if I tell him the truth.
Shelly

Dear Shelly,
Slow down. I admire your desire to be honest with Jason, but you are putting the cart before the horse. Honesty is important — as is trust. You need to see if Jason is someone you can trust and is going to be a part of your life for a while before you blurt out your dating history. In any case, I wouldn’t name names or give out numbers. You can tell him, “There was a time when I was confused about men and dated many dishonest guys. I’m not ashamed of anything I did because I learned a lot.”

And leave it at that. Sometimes men want to know the magic number. But when they get that number, they use it as a weapon. That information doesn’t have to be part of your relationship with him.


Comments? Thoughts? Discuss this article and more at hippoflea.com



03/09/2006 Alone but not lonely
03/02/2006 Compatability?
02/23/2006 A rock and a hard place
02/16/2006 A whole-hearted agreement
02/09/2006 Growing apart
01/26/2006 Tuning out?
01/12/2006 Under pressure
01/05/2006 Sex isn't everything?
A Few Words From Sherry

A LIttle Joy, A Little Heartbreak
Abusive Relationship
Abusive Relationships
Advice to young mother
Annual Tips For Avoiding The Holiday Fight
Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'?
At The Women's Expo

Back In The Same Place
Back Off, Buddy
Bad Breaks
Being Patient
Blog, Blog, Blog
Broke up

California Dreaming
Changing My Mind
Clearing It Up
Cooking Help
Confused and Angry
Consumed By The Internet
Crying All The Time
Dating Again
Ex-Cooperation
Falling Short
Family Friction
Friend, With Benefits
Friends
Friendly Secret
Gift-Giving Season
Go to Funeral?
Homesick
Hunting Season
In Love and Confused
It's the most "beautiful" time of the year...
Keeping Things Secret
Just Sex
Lying, But Not Cheating
Might Get Married
Move Back Home?
My Boyfriend's Computer
My Roommate's Family
Mutual Intrigue
Needs Support
Newly Single Mother
No Explanation
Nosy Neighbors
Nothing Happened
Oh, Grow Up

On Her Way To 'Trouble'

Our Pal Al
Pretty Tight
Publicity Stunt?
Quiet, Please
RSVP, Please
Ruthie's Secret
Should I Stick or Should I Run
Should I Tell Him
Shy Girl
Splitting and Sharing
Stuck In A Sticky Situation
Sucky Gifts
Taking advantage
The Boyfriend & The Friend
The Difficult Coworker
The Letter
The Pain In Spain
The Sad Bride
The Ultimatum
Two Men At The Same Time
Vacation, Not

Why would anyone stay?