March 2, 2006


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Pinings: Compatibility?
by Sherry Hughes

Dear Sherry,

My friend and I read your column all the time. We disagree about something and thought we would ask you what you thought. We are both 22 and live in the city. Our families are friends and we grew up doing lots of the same things.

When I meet a guy, I think we should be compatible just like I am with my girlfriends. I think we should have a lot in common and enjoy doing the same things. Amber thinks that it’s more interesting to be with someone who is different so that we can learn different things and have new experiences.

I date guys who I know I’ll have fun with, doing stuff we both like to do. She thinks I should “step out of my box” and date a guy from a different religion or even a different country to see all of the different ways men live.

We aren’t having a fight about this or anything. But she is always pushing me to do something different and “live a little.” She says I’m going to end up doing all the same things my parents did.

-Amber and Felicia

Dear Amber and Felicia,

I agree with both ways of thinking. I think it’s a great learning experience to say yes to dates with men you wouldn’t necessarily think of as your type. It opens up your world to new ways of thinking and looking at the world.

I also think that there is attraction and comfort in dating people who are like us and that we know we will get along with and have fun with.

That being said, I agree with Amber’s sentiments about life in general more than I can say. I hope that you live somewhere other than where you grew up at some point. I hope you save up some money, quit your job and go climb a volcano somewhere. I hope you learn a different language, devote some of your life to helping those less fortunate than you and that you find out at a young age that dreams do come true.

Amber has a wider view of life in some ways than you do. It doesn’t make her right or wrong, just different.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at

Comments? Thoughts? Discuss this article and more at

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A Few Words From Sherry

A LIttle Joy, A Little Heartbreak
Abusive Relationship
Abusive Relationships
Advice to young mother
Annual Tips For Avoiding The Holiday Fight
Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'?
At The Women's Expo

Back In The Same Place
Back Off, Buddy
Bad Breaks
Being Patient
Blog, Blog, Blog
Broke up

California Dreaming
Changing My Mind
Clearing It Up
Cooking Help
Confused and Angry
Consumed By The Internet
Crying All The Time
Dating Again
Falling Short
Family Friction
Friend, With Benefits
Friendly Secret
Gift-Giving Season
Go to Funeral?
Hunting Season
In Love and Confused
It's the most "beautiful" time of the year...
Keeping Things Secret
Just Sex
Lying, But Not Cheating
Might Get Married
Move Back Home?
My Boyfriend's Computer
My Roommate's Family
Mutual Intrigue
Needs Support
Newly Single Mother
No Explanation
Nosy Neighbors
Nothing Happened
Oh, Grow Up

On Her Way To 'Trouble'

Our Pal Al
Pretty Tight
Publicity Stunt?
Quiet, Please
RSVP, Please
Ruthie's Secret
Should I Stick or Should I Run
Should I Tell Him
Shy Girl
Splitting and Sharing
Stuck In A Sticky Situation
Sucky Gifts
Taking advantage
The Boyfriend & The Friend
The Difficult Coworker
The Letter
The Pain In Spain
The Sad Bride
The Ultimatum
Two Men At The Same Time
Vacation, Not

Why would anyone stay?