February 23, 2006

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Pinings: A rock and a hard place
by Sherry Hughes

Dear Pinings,

I have a major dilemma that is plaguing my small company. One of my coworkers, “Sandy” is sleeping with another coworker’s ex-husband. The ex-wife is well aware that there is something going on, but is not yet aware of the level of their relationship. “Sandy” is in her early 20s and the ex-husband is in his early 40s. The two seem to be doing many things just to spite the ex-wife. The whole situation in having a detrimental effect on the quality of work here. It’s also creating a hostile workplace. I feel like I am stuck because what do I do if I am approached about the situation? Do I tell the truth or wait till someone else spills the beans?

Thank you for your help! - Stuck between a rock and a hard place....

Dear Stuck,

It’s always hard to deal with people who don’t have any boundaries. Trust me, I’ve known plenty.

It’s really not your place to say anything to the ex-wife, unless you consider her one of your close friends. She might just know more than you think she knows. And you’ve heard the phrase about shooting the messenger, right? On the other side of the coin, ignorance is bliss. She might know all she wants to know.

If things are getting messy at work, you (as the boss) should feel OK about setting the 20-year-old straight about appropriate behavior at work. And you might just give her some advice about being empathetic and kind — if you think that’s appropriate too.

Good luck..

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers. Write her at sah103@hotmail.com.

Comments? Thoughts? Discuss this article and more at hippoflea.com



02/16/2006 A whole-hearted agreement
02/09/2006 Growing apart
01/26/2006 Tuning out?
01/12/2006 Under pressure
01/05/2006 Sex isn't everything?
A Few Words From Sherry

A LIttle Joy, A Little Heartbreak
Abusive Relationship
Abusive Relationships
Advice to young mother
Annual Tips For Avoiding The Holiday Fight
Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'?
At The Women's Expo

Back In The Same Place
Back Off, Buddy
Bad Breaks
Being Patient
Blog, Blog, Blog
Broke up

California Dreaming
Changing My Mind
Clearing It Up
Cooking Help
Confused and Angry
Consumed By The Internet
Crying All The Time
Dating Again
Ex-Cooperation
Falling Short
Family Friction
Friend, With Benefits
Friends
Friendly Secret
Gift-Giving Season
Go to Funeral?
Homesick
Hunting Season
In Love and Confused
It's the most "beautiful" time of the year...
Keeping Things Secret
Just Sex
Lying, But Not Cheating
Might Get Married
Move Back Home?
My Boyfriend's Computer
My Roommate's Family
Mutual Intrigue
Needs Support
Newly Single Mother
No Explanation
Nosy Neighbors
Nothing Happened
Oh, Grow Up

On Her Way To 'Trouble'

Our Pal Al
Pretty Tight
Publicity Stunt?
Quiet, Please
RSVP, Please
Ruthie's Secret
Should I Stick or Should I Run
Should I Tell Him
Shy Girl
Splitting and Sharing
Stuck In A Sticky Situation
Sucky Gifts
Taking advantage
The Boyfriend & The Friend
The Difficult Coworker
The Letter
The Pain In Spain
The Sad Bride
The Ultimatum
Two Men At The Same Time
Vacation, Not

Why would anyone stay?