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Pinings: Growing apart
by
Sherry Hughes
Dear Sherry,
There is a problem in my marriage and I’m not sure how serious it is. My husband says I should just chill, but I’m worried that we are growing apart — actually, I’m worried that he might be getting ready to leave me.
We’ve been married for three years, together for five. When we married (and when we dated) we both seemed to like the same things. We went shopping, hung out with friends and watched movies. Lately, he started going to the gym. He says one of his friends goes all the time and it helps him feel more energetic. Now he gets up almost every morning to go work out and I don’t see him until he gets home from work. He also is talking about biking (like on a bike, not a motorcycle) with friends on the weekends. He thinks it will be fun and it will make him feel good.
Sherry, my husband doesn’t need to lose weight or anything. He’s a good looking guy and has a great bod. I’m not sure what the gym thing is all about. Our mornings used to be a really nice time of day for us. Now I’m alone all morning. I’m afraid that he is changing and won’t want to be with me anymore. He keeps saying that it’s just something he really wants to do to feel better.
What do you think?
Rachael
Dear Rachael,
I think it’s a good thing that your husband wants to feel better. I also think it’s good that he is interested in growing and changing and becoming the best person he can be. If you don’t have any reason to think he’s lying or being evasive, don’t go looking for one. We all change and grow throughout our lives. All relationships are tested in this way. Find your own interests and pursue them; this is the stuff that enriches relationships.
And it wouldn’t hurt if he had some encouragement from his wife rather than a sad face to come home to.
Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers. Write her at sah103@hotmail.com.
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