Pinings: Growing apart
There is a problem in my marriage and Iím not sure how serious it is. My husband says I should just chill, but Iím worried that we are growing apart ó actually, Iím worried that he might be getting ready to leave me.
Weíve been married for three years, together for five. When we married (and when we dated) we both seemed to like the same things. We went shopping, hung out with friends and watched movies. Lately, he started going to the gym. He says one of his friends goes all the time and it helps him feel more energetic. Now he gets up almost every morning to go work out and I donít see him until he gets home from work. He also is talking about biking (like on a bike, not a motorcycle) with friends on the weekends. He thinks it will be fun and it will make him feel good.
Sherry, my husband doesnít need to lose weight or anything. Heís a good looking guy and has a great bod. Iím not sure what the gym thing is all about. Our mornings used to be a really nice time of day for us. Now Iím alone all morning. Iím afraid that he is changing and wonít want to be with me anymore. He keeps saying that itís just something he really wants to do to feel better.
What do you think?
I think itís a good thing that your husband wants to feel better. I also think itís good that he is interested in growing and changing and becoming the best person he can be. If you donít have any reason to think heís lying or being evasive, donít go looking for one. We all change and grow throughout our lives. All relationships are tested in this way. Find your own interests and pursue them; this is the stuff that enriches relationships.
And it wouldnít hurt if he had some encouragement from his wife rather than a sad face to come home to.
Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers. Write her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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