February 9, 2006

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Pinings: Growing apart
by Sherry Hughes

Dear Sherry,

There is a problem in my marriage and Iím not sure how serious it is. My husband says I should just chill, but Iím worried that we are growing apart ó actually, Iím worried that he might be getting ready to leave me.

Weíve been married for three years, together for five. When we married (and when we dated) we both seemed to like the same things. We went shopping, hung out with friends and watched movies. Lately, he started going to the gym. He says one of his friends goes all the time and it helps him feel more energetic. Now he gets up almost every morning to go work out and I donít see him until he gets home from work. He also is talking about biking (like on a bike, not a motorcycle) with friends on the weekends. He thinks it will be fun and it will make him feel good.

Sherry, my husband doesnít need to lose weight or anything. Heís a good looking guy and has a great bod. Iím not sure what the gym thing is all about. Our mornings used to be a really nice time of day for us. Now Iím alone all morning. Iím afraid that he is changing and wonít want to be with me anymore. He keeps saying that itís just something he really wants to do to feel better.

What do you think?
Rachael

Dear Rachael,

I think itís a good thing that your husband wants to feel better. I also think itís good that he is interested in growing and changing and becoming the best person he can be. If you donít have any reason to think heís lying or being evasive, donít go looking for one. We all change and grow throughout our lives. All relationships are tested in this way. Find your own interests and pursue them; this is the stuff that enriches relationships.

And it wouldnít hurt if he had some encouragement from his wife rather than a sad face to come home to.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers. Write her at sah103@hotmail.com.

Comments?†Thoughts? Discuss this article and more at hippoflea.com



01/26/2006 Tuning out?
01/12/2006 Under pressure
01/05/2006 Sex isn't everything?
A Few Words From Sherry

A LIttle Joy, A Little Heartbreak
Abusive Relationship
Abusive Relationships
Advice to young mother
Annual Tips For Avoiding The Holiday Fight
Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'?
At The Women's Expo

Back In The Same Place
Back Off, Buddy
Bad Breaks
Being Patient
Blog, Blog, Blog
Broke up

California Dreaming
Changing My Mind
Clearing It Up
Cooking Help
Confused and Angry
Consumed By The Internet
Crying All The Time
Dating Again
Ex-Cooperation
Falling Short
Family Friction
Friend, With Benefits
Friends
Friendly Secret
Gift-Giving Season
Go to Funeral?
Homesick
Hunting Season
In Love and Confused
It's the most "beautiful" time of the year...
Keeping Things Secret
Just Sex
Lying, But Not Cheating
Might Get Married
Move Back Home?
My Boyfriend's Computer
My Roommate's Family
Mutual Intrigue
Needs Support
Newly Single Mother
No Explanation
Nosy Neighbors
Nothing Happened
Oh, Grow Up

On Her Way To 'Trouble'

Our Pal Al
Pretty Tight
Publicity Stunt?
Quiet, Please
RSVP, Please
Ruthie's Secret
Should I Stick or Should I Run
Should I Tell Him
Shy Girl
Splitting and Sharing
Stuck In A Sticky Situation
Sucky Gifts
Taking advantage
The Boyfriend & The Friend
The Difficult Coworker
The Letter
The Pain In Spain
The Sad Bride
The Ultimatum
Two Men At The Same Time
Vacation, Not

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