January 12, 2006

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Pinings: Under pressure
by Sherry Hughes

Dear Pinings,

My family feels that I should marry my boyfriend, Curt. I love him, and we have fun together, but I donít know if I really want to marry him.

Since weíve been dating (for 10 months now) heís been to many family functions with me. My folks love him, my sisters are wild for him (heís very handsome) and my grandmother tells me I should ďsnatch him up.Ē I am getting tired of feeling as if I will be considered a total loser if I let him go. Iíve always dated nice guys, but Curt is a real charmer. He is not that nice when we are alone, and can be aloof and insulting when he isnít getting his way. But in the company of others, he is the perfect guy.

What should I do?

Brittany

Dear Brittany,

Ah, the perfect guy thing. Iím sure your family isnít completely stupid ó thereís got to be one person who can see through Curtís ďcharm.Ē And if there isnít, it doesnít matter anyway. Go with your gut. Donít be bullied or guilted into doing anything you donít want to do. Itís not their life. Itís yours.

And another thing, we all put on our best behavior with the parents or family of a partner. But to be dishonest about who you are is an entirely different thing. Being fake is being dishonest. Being charming when you really arenít charming is being dishonest. Pay attention to that.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers. Write her at sah103@hotmail.com.



01/05/2006 Sex isn't everything?
A Few Words From Sherry

A LIttle Joy, A Little Heartbreak
Abusive Relationship
Abusive Relationships
Advice to young mother
Annual Tips For Avoiding The Holiday Fight
Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'?
At The Women's Expo

Back In The Same Place
Back Off, Buddy
Bad Breaks
Being Patient
Blog, Blog, Blog
Broke up

California Dreaming
Changing My Mind
Clearing It Up
Cooking Help
Confused and Angry
Consumed By The Internet
Crying All The Time
Dating Again
Ex-Cooperation
Falling Short
Family Friction
Friend, With Benefits
Friends
Friendly Secret
Gift-Giving Season
Go to Funeral?
Homesick
Hunting Season
In Love and Confused
It's the most "beautiful" time of the year...
Keeping Things Secret
Just Sex
Lying, But Not Cheating
Might Get Married
Move Back Home?
My Boyfriend's Computer
My Roommate's Family
Mutual Intrigue
Needs Support
Newly Single Mother
No Explanation
Nosy Neighbors
Nothing Happened
Oh, Grow Up

On Her Way To 'Trouble'

Our Pal Al
Pretty Tight
Publicity Stunt?
Quiet, Please
RSVP, Please
Ruthie's Secret
Should I Stick or Should I Run
Should I Tell Him
Shy Girl
Splitting and Sharing
Stuck In A Sticky Situation
Sucky Gifts
Taking advantage
The Boyfriend & The Friend
The Difficult Coworker
The Letter
The Pain In Spain
The Sad Bride
The Ultimatum
Two Men At The Same Time
Vacation, Not

Why would anyone stay?