Pinings: Under pressure
My family feels that I should marry my boyfriend, Curt. I love him, and we have fun together, but I donít know if I really want to marry him.
Since weíve been dating (for 10 months now) heís been to many family functions with me. My folks love him, my sisters are wild for him (heís very handsome) and my grandmother tells me I should ďsnatch him up.Ē I am getting tired of feeling as if I will be considered a total loser if I let him go. Iíve always dated nice guys, but Curt is a real charmer. He is not that nice when we are alone, and can be aloof and insulting when he isnít getting his way. But in the company of others, he is the perfect guy.
What should I do?
Ah, the perfect guy thing. Iím sure your family isnít completely stupid ó thereís got to be one person who can see through Curtís ďcharm.Ē And if there isnít, it doesnít matter anyway. Go with your gut. Donít be bullied or guilted into doing anything you donít want to do. Itís not their life. Itís yours.
And another thing, we all put on our best behavior with the parents or family of a partner. But to be dishonest about who you are is an entirely different thing. Being fake is being dishonest. Being charming when you really arenít charming is being dishonest. Pay attention to that.
Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers. Write her at firstname.lastname@example.org.